it's the weekends.....
another part of Charlie and Me anyone?
any takers????
no?
*sob sob

 i'll do it anyways!!!
*evil laugh....
 in the mean time, i give you, Matthew Lewis

 

 random?
not really...
it's just cos he's in a new 5 part series called The Syndicate on BBC1 and he's kinda my favorite young wizard...
kbye

I will live

you know, while running today, i kinda thank God that my friends didnt show up...
it meant i could plug in my ipod and run alone instead...
while running, the song Till I See You came to play...
what struck me the most are the words "I will live"..
and it dawned upon me....
why do i live a dull life everyday...
what is the point...
what is the purpose....

recently, or through the course of time, suicide attempts were around me...
even i had those negative thoughts....
and it came to me...
who are we to take our lives?
we have no right because it was given to us...
only God can take our lives...
and if we live aimlessly, know that we are made for a purpose...
to praise God...
to worship Him...
to love Him...
He is God of all
He is worthy of ALL (i mean ALL) our praise...

Part 2 is up.... still a long way... yay?

Charlie and Me - part 2

It felt as though time stopped but we soon snapped out of it and I helped her up. Embarrassed, she gave a small chuckled as she shook her head and covered her face. I laughed as I looked at her. Slowly, I grabbed her wrist and slowly pulled down her hand. I gave an assuring smile at her.

“Sky.” I said as I pointed to myself.

“Can I buy you a drink? It’s the least I could do.” I continued.
She nodded with a sweet smile. We walked to a nearby Starbucks and she had a Green Tea Frap whereas I had a Java Chip Frap. We parted ways after we got our drinks. Her name was Charlie and that was all I got to know. No number, no e-mail, no way of contacting her in the future. But that girl, Charlie, took my breath away. I wonder when I will ever see her again. I gave a long sigh as I walked back. I wondered what I was supposed to do for the day for a moment and realized I was supposed to meet a friend in Central Park. Looking at my watch, I realized I had to be there in less than 10 minutes. Hurriedly, I ran towards Central Park, with my Java Chip Frap in hand.

There she was, under the tree, looking at her cellphone, a worried look plastered on her face. That was Katie, the friend I was supposed to meet. We go way back. You see, Katie was a friend of mine. She used to live down the block and now, she stays a few doors away in college. Dark curls with chocolate brown skin, wide eyes, a brown beauty. I ran towards her, panting. She turned towards me when I was running towards her wording the words “Sorry”. She has that look on her face again, the kind of face that I know too well which meant I’m in for another round of lecture. I finally reached her.

“I could explain” I said.

“You better come up with an exceptionally good reason to be late again, Schuyler Abernathy Lee!” she said, using my full name which I know too well meant she was not happy.

“But for now, we have to go. Hurry!” she said in a hurried tone.

“Okay, Katherine Helena Rosewood.” I said, mocking her.

She gave me a stare which clearly defines “We’ll settle this later.”
We ran towards the center of the park, where we’re holding a surprise birthday party for our friend, Ted. It was his 21st birthday and we wanted to make it special. You see, Ted is a jock. He runs around the park every single day, even that day on his birthday. Our plan was to throw him a surprise party as he ran to us in the park. As we reached the center, we were just in time as we saw Indie, waving frantically at us to hurry up as she saw Ted not too far away. Katie and I picked up our pace and got there just in time.

The party went on from the park to the club where we had a little drink before calling it a day. After the party, Katie dropped by my room. Could she have remembered my wrongs for the day? Could she have remembered that I have some explaining to do?

“Now, talk.” Katie said.

So she did remember. In a way, I was nervous to tell her but I think it’ll be good to tell a friend. I told her about Charlie. I think my cheeks grew red a few times as I spoke of her, as I remember how she looked like, her dress, her smile, her hair. Katie laughed at me a few times but I know that she was genuinely happy for me. She gave me a hug and she left for her room. That night, I smiled my way to bed. As I closed my eyes, I could only think of her, of Charlie, the girl who will soon be my everything.

Every day, for almost a week I went to the same newsstand where I first saw Charlie in hopes of bumping into her again but to no avail. Maybe my time this time is not right. Maybe I’m not ready for a relationship yet. Maybe God is sending me a sign that I may never see Charlie again. Days gone by and months pass, but no Charlie, no girl with the orchid scented hair. I gave up searching for her as the new semester is beginning and I will not have time to be idling at the newsstand. Autumn is coming, leaves are falling and classes are starting.

Writing. Again?

woke up with an inspiration after my afternoon nap and i jumped at the fact of new ideas...
my fingers went straight to my computer, my keyboards actually and started working...
could my inspiration come from a dream? but i don't remember dreaming...
or could my character, be inspired by the busy streets of 5th Avenue New York, the coming summer here and Katniss Everdeen, a character in the Hunger Games that i've read recently...
without further ado, i shall put up my first two paragraphs and hunt for comments, which i doubt i could get from any of you since no one reads my blogs anyways...

:-:-:-:-

Title: Charlie and Me

She walked down the street in a flowy white summer dress and beautiful Bohemian braids when she caught my eyes, and more, my heart. That was the first time her fragrance of orchids fill my nostrils as she walked past me. Her glowing olive skin and piercing green eyes looked past me as she gave me a little smile, a smile of an angel. Taken aback by her beauty, I could do nothing but smile back, an awkward smile actually. She burst out laughing as she walked past me. And I couldn’t help laughing at myself despite my embarrassment. I covered my face with my palms to hide my cheeks, both turning red in this crimson sun. Were they turning red because it’s hot out here in the summer heat, or was it because I was flushed in embarrassment?

It wasn’t till I heard a thud. I lifted my face to see, the girl, the very same girl with the flowy summer dress and romantically Bohemian braided hair on the floor. She must’ve tripped on the cracks along the sidewalk and fell. That’s when I saw that she wore these beautiful chunky wedges with beautifully designed straps that could match the famous Jimmy Choo. With a small gasp, an “Oh!”, I quickly ran towards her. While helping her up, I could not help it but apologize, feeling as though her trip could be my fault for distracting her. That’s when our eyes meet. Hers in a shade of green, deep green, almost jade green I could say, and mine, my not so interesting dark brown eyes. Those eyes, I could remember them till this day. Something struck us there. Could it be that the ever popular myth of love at first sight, the one I’ve brushed aside since my previous lover dumped me for another man, is actually true? Did I tell you about her hair, her romantically braided hair? Up close, I saw her hair. Her hair was wavy, chestnut brown in color, and the feature that struck me the most, the smell of orchids that could not be from anything other than the bottle of Herbal Essence that I’m all so familiar with. Perfection, that’s the only word I could describe her.

-to be continued.....

i couldn't find a more suitable picture, so, this would do

what i did not tell you

i work very subtly, with subtle hints....

you said i didn't try to communicate?
there was a reason why i invite you to come to church with me....
yes, i would like you to meet my friends and family
but other than that, we'll have about half to an hour time alone to talk and pray PER JOURNEY....
and i am most comfortable talking in the car....

you said you like to spend time alone, just the two of us,
when i asked you out to dinner, you asked if i mind your friends tagging along...
being me, of course i'll say i won't....

you wanted me to fight for you might wonder why i didn't even try and just gave up
what was i supposed to say?
even if we sort things out, that feeling will come back again
and i dont want you to be in that kinda dilemma all over again...

there was a reason why i did not ever hold you or touch you
i told myself that i wouldn't until i get your parent's full blessing
and also meet them

now, it's my turn,
may i know the real reason why
when you said it's not my fault, is it really not my fault or are you just saying it?
was i trying too hard that you are pressured?
was i going too fast?
or too slow?
was i too nice or too weak that i wouldn't take charge?
or is it because i'm not well to do, not good looking, and not talented....
or was it because i'm too complicated, too broken...
or did you feel like i ignore you a lot...
did you know that many nights, i would love to just go to sleep but waited for you instead...
did you know that i wanted to celebrate the end of the semester with my friends but spent it with yours instead?
what was it????

you know what, you said if it's meant to be then it'll be...
but i dont think i wanna hang on to whatever glimpse of hope that there might be to go back to how it used to...
i dont think i wanna be your safety net...
i'll be moving on...
but until or unless you start seeing someone else, i wont be seeing anyone...
but then again, i might not be able to hold on to that if someone comes along...

on an ending note

“I think that if life separates us and we end up in totally different places, we’ll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time and I’ll be thankful for that. and I hope that wherever you are, you’ll be thankful, too. and I think that’s the best we can wish for.”