Thursday, October 18, 2012

To Stand or To Fall

i was listening to Chris Tomlin's Lord I Need You in the car a while ago and one line from the bridge just hits me...
(there's a line that hits me first, but the one i'm about to share hits harder)
it's the line
"When I cannot stand I fall on You"

all of a sudden, i got a feeling like as though God said
"Stop struggling, trying so hard to stand. Just fall for I will catch you."
i'll give you a moment to let it sink....

you know, many times, i "call" on God to help me out
to lend me His strength
but at the back of my mind, i may be going at it all by myself...
in a way, i think God's like saying,
"Hey, man. Time to give up and let Me take over."
there are many things in my life, past and present
where i rather suffer alone (as much as i wish and pray and hope someone would come along to help me out)
so, i've been relying on myself a lot...
trying to fly solo cos there's no one who could fly with me...
but what i really need is to fall actually...
to give up my own strength
to let God catch me...
to trust that He WILL catch me...
cos, He promised me this...

just so you know,
falling is not easy...
falling means to completely let go and fall...
you can either be saved or get injured...
there's no in between...
so, if you think it's so easy to fall, think again...
if you want to fall on God, it will mean you need to trust Him COMPLETELY...
if He says, turn left, turn left and not question why or what's ahead...

am I ready for it?
to be blatantly honest, i don't know...
rather, i don't and can't but i know i need to...
and in time, i will....
it's time and i have to choose...


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Maybe it's time...

remember when i said it's not too bad being alone?
well, i think it's about time i learn to be independent...
you see, maybe it's time i learn to fly solo...
i've been depending on the people around me for companionship...
always asking if they wanna go out with me...
yes, i know it can be annoying...
i can be annoying...
so, for all those around me, sorry for being a baggage...

 you see, the signs were there all along...
it's not that i don't see them,
i just chose to ignore them...
people saying they're busy...
people ditching me last minute....
maybe because i'm afraid of being alone...
so, i'll try to fly solo and i guess i'll stop trying to go out of my way to please people...

and urm, if you're actually annoyed by me,
please do tell me so i can stay away from you...