Sidang Redaksi lately

I guess most of you didn't know this as i didn't tell anyone outside school except for my family...hehe

I'm involved with the Sidang Redaksi or what we call in SB SidRed.
Sid what???
SidRed is a group where we are in charge of producing the school annual magazine, the thick type. Like school year book.
And did I tell you that its the 1st edition...WOAH!!!
Its been like almost hmmm....
Let's see.... 2 - 3 months now...
Most of the work were done...
Just need to arrange them...
Principal wants to see them ASAP.

However, I'm not very happy with the Chief Editor, she's a student.
She kinds of never do anything and when the teacher is thinking of changing the post to someone else, she objects...
sigh...
She's kinda what people say erm... "Power Hungry"?
She's even the head prefect.
All name and glam but no work...
(Yea... If you're wondering whether I'm aiming the post if the teacher changes the position, yea... who doesn't... but I'm kinda worthy of it cos I did lotsa work as well and is present every week unless I really cannot come...)

Lately, I've been doing the tags, but sis took the laminating machine, so, the tags are done but not laminated yet...

TA-DAH!!!



I know it only
wrote Editor/Graphics but I was also involved in Photography...
My job in photography?
Arranging the students...
even the teachers cos I'm only involved with the Teachers, Prefects, Librarians and PRS shoot as we were very dissatisfied with the previous shoots...
This time turns out ok...
Editor?
Head and only member of English Editorial Section...LOLZ...
Graphics???
I arrange the photos and designed the Front Cover... YAY!!!
I'll put it up next time...
hehe...

Not in Church

This week, I'm not in church cos got extra classes....
Its pretty boring to be at home...
especially when there's nothing on the tv...

Brain Fried

System Malfunction...
Yesterday evening was sooo weird....
its like my brained is fried...
not goreng but the type of fried that applied to machines...
guess its due to Late to Bed, Too Early to Rise...

when we we wanna go back from church after worship seminar,
Auntie Jessie said "See ya" to (dunno me or mum, I'm not sure...)
All of a sudden, I was thinking in Japanese "Dewa Mata" which meant see you...
then, when i thought in English, i dunno whether to say bye, see you or see ya...
i just smiled...
felt sooo bad n rude...
GOMENASAI!!! (SORRY!!!)

then, on the way back, my sis n bro we're singing songs....
i tried to join in but my words were scrambled...
i can't seem to think straight...
OMi....

sooo weird...
1st real experience where too much things were messed up in my little brain....
so weired...
felt like such a screwup....

From the ashes

((( forgive me for nonsensing... gotta get this frustration outta my head )))

Risen from the ashes
And the shadows
That once overshadowed me
Finally a fighter
What broke me made me stronger.

In this new world called "living hell", I guess I have to fight my way through
Gotta brace through this storm
I thought of a phrase before that I made up

You have to be tough to survive
If you can't be tough, act tough
If you don't, you'll perish into dirt

This place is driving me nuts...
(read my previous post and you'll know)
It getting worst by the day
but its not their prob
Its mine
I'm no born blender, not a chameleon
Can't seem to blend...
But Naz has been nice...
The others...
Dunno much...

ARGH!!!!
GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!
CAN'T WAIT FOR SPM TO BE OVER!!!!

Life now...

its been 7 months since i started a "new" life in Upper East Side.
ooops... Bandar Tasik Puteri I mean...hehe

Some good memories and some not so good experience...
the thing is, sometimes, I can't talk to anyone though I have the urge, or maybe I really dunno who to talk to except for God himself as I'm "talking" to myself...

But church life is really reaLLY REALLY good now...
I've been able to blend into the youths...
Guess their kinda like my old friends in Selayang after all...
(the secret of our friendship back in Selayang was that we're all different in character but we have the same interest. With our differences, we complete each other and complement each others' weaknesses).
The Youths have been really supportive. When I wasn't part of them yet (in my opinion that time), they nevcer gave up in pulling me in...
Thanks guys...
XOXO to all of you..

But school life now is a totally different story...
I used to love going to school cos my friends are there.
I know that each morning, when I arrive, Sha will be there.
We'll chat till the others arrive.
Now, every time I reach school, I put down my bag and I circle round the Basketball ring. looking at people around me, chatting like so happily and having their cliques.
Last time, we'll walk in one big group, we'll wait till all are together unless its urgent that we arrive early and can't afford to wait.
now, I wait for some at times, but when it's my turn to be "running late", no one really waits for me anymore other that a few occasions.
sigh...
The thing is, its already 7 months.
If you're saying in Selayang we had 4 years, then think again.
In Selayang, it was like only 1-2 months Dean and I bonded.
Its like, last time was always "We,Us, and Ourselves",
now its "I,Me, and Myself"
I don't deny that some of them are nice, but we aren't as close I was with my gang.

-----------------------------------------------
other than life now....

I notice whenever I sing, I tend to imagine a stage (like the one in Love In Ice clip down there somewhere), where it is dark and I can't see anyone.
Then, I'll tend to release, full force my voice for an audience of ONE. GOD!!!

I dunno if I should say this, but to some of us in the worship team (including myself),
sometimes, we tend to make "worship" into a performance.
"I must get the right chords. The right notes. The right tune. Or else I'll be a complete screw up." was at times in our mind that we totally forgot what really matters.
When I had that thought at times, I'll remember God said to me before, "Let Go." and I'll totally feel God in the song instead of making it a performance, like today actually...
At first, when I was doing the solo in the start of Heart of Worship, I kinda sensed God saying, "Are you really bringing a heart of worship of is this just another performance?', then I just released and let God take over and it was like WOW!!!
but then again, we must give our best to the King of Kings as well, so don't purposely play not full heartedly until the song goes terrible...
so it all comes down to just one thing, when we come back to a heart of worship, we not only focus on God, we will tend to do well as well, automatically...