The Awkward Blog of the Awkward Blogger

My life story

2012-02-14T09:14:00.001+08:00

my life story summed up in this song
look at the blackboard

Tenth Avenue North - You are more

Loved and Forgiven

2012-02-09T11:54:00.005+08:00

okay... i dont usually want to share part of my life that is too personal here but maybe, just maybe, this could actually help save a soul...
God did amazing work in my life in the last youth camp i went and i feel bad if i dont share His awesome-ness...
so, this is what happened and what He told me...
___________

i know what it's like to know with my head but not with my heart...
i know God loves me and people around me do to, but i never really want to believe it or feel it in my heart because of one tiny problem...
i dont love myself...
in fact, i hate myself a lot...
i feel i am pretentious and fake and a hypocrite...
i feel like i put on a mask everyday and when i'm alone, i do what i do...
i feel empty and a fake...
so fake that, my nice persona automatically comes out when i'm with others...
i hate myself so much that i never deemed myself good enough...
never amount to anything...
and i went on to find recognition from others...
i try so hard to be funny, to be good in everything i do and try to silently boast of what i could do just to cover up the insecurity i have in me...
i hated myself so much that i actually enjoy self-loathing and i love to wallow in sorrow...

i didnt expect much from God for this camp but i just let it be....
it was like that until, when Terry (camp speaker) had like an altar call and when he said "you think you're never good enough" i was overwhelmed...
i was like "no, God. no! don't do it" as my heart was overcame by emotions and i know for sure that God is doing the work there and then...
thought run through my head...
Uncle Chu Soon prayed for me...
i was not fighting with God, i was fighting with myself...
for some reason, i cant explain it...
when i finally stopped fighting, i think i heard God said something...
something that got me...
He said "I love you even if you dont love yourself"
and that was that....
i can't fight it anymore...
i broke down...
i know that in my head but i cant with my heart...
i dont know how...
i left it as that....

the next day, something happened during worship...
for some reason, i started feeling overwhelmed and started tearing again...
this time, God said "I love you even if you don't love Me. Do not be compelled to love Me just because I love you but learn to love me with your heart and not your head. Look out there, look to the horizon, I love you so much more than that...."
i was left speechless and i dont know what to do....
like seriously don't know what to do but to accept it without me realizing it...
i held back all this while because i'm afraid to accept love and forgiveness because i fell many times right after (story below) but i just said to God, "i will not look back and i don't care what will happen in the future, but as of now, i will love You and accept Your forgiveness and learn to love You and myself because You are in me and if i could not love myself, i can't love You. it's time to believe what i told my friends to encourage them."

that afternoon, i felt free and i worshiped God freely without holding back...
i thought God had done what he had to that morning but no...
during the altar call, Terry mentioned something about someone having an addiction to a certain lifestyle... that person had been looking for a way out, asking God to pull him out countless times and sometimes, he feels like giving up already... but God will deliver him... he might be a leader, or serving for years....
that person was me...
so, God was not done with me yet i see....
i have or rather, i prefer to put it as had (i wanna believe it's over) an addiction....
an addiction to a past i am not proud of...
an addiction to seemed normal to many...
but i dont feel comfortable sharing it now yet...
i will share when deliverance is fully complete....
and when His work is fully done in me...
Sean prayed for me....
>>>>time skip to after prayer...
after prayer, i just simply asked God that if He wants me to pray for someone, i will... just point and i'll step in faith...
first, God asked me to pray for Alyssa...
i was like God, seriously? she's pastor's daughter... for all i know, she should be praying for me... and am i having this feeling just because i understand her feelings cos it's similar to mine?
i hesitated....
that still small voice kept pushing me...
FINE! i went...
and words keep pouring out...
i didnt know what to pray at first but words keep pouring...
when i hear her sob, i know it's not me speaking but God speaking into her...
when we finished, she gave me a hug...

i though that was all but God pointed me to Marcus...
i didnt know what to pray so i asked God for at least a hint
and the word POTENTIAL came to mind...
we all know that but God wants me to pray for him...
so, i just started praying for him...
and it went from there...
again, i didnt know what to say but God put words into my mind...
after praying, i was amazed...
i kinda forgot that i had issues...
i think God is telling me here that it doesn't matter if i had issues but if i pray sincerely, He can use me...

Holidays

2012-01-30T13:31:00.004+08:00

hey there peeps...
waddup?!
*not funny

how's the holidays been going?
1 month break and i'm almost half way through...
it's been kinda boring for me...
day in day out staring at the computer...
refreshing Facebook, Twitter and 9gag all day has been my daily routine...
occasionally, i get to download my shows and watch them but it's like only once a week for each show...
0_o

this is what i looked like these days

this week will be kinda different...
i'll be working from Monday to Friday
will be going to see Wong Fu on Saturday
and Camp will start on Sunday...
this week will be great...

then, it'll be back to faffing for another one and a half week
and i'll be back in college for the next semester...
looking forward to it...
cant stand being useless and lazy...

till then....
ala prochaine

Under the Weather

2012-01-30T00:55:00.005+08:00

just had the urge to blog at 1am...
weird....
i know....

these days, i've been a little under the weather...
first, sore throat, then, coughing and flu...
good thing i'm recovering a lil by lil...
my sore throat is almost entirely gone...
coughing is reduced...
nose still gets blocked once in a while...

you know, medicine sucks sometimes...
but i kinda like taking my cough syrup...
BENA EXPECTORENT!!!

brings back memories of when i was in National Service camp...
this baby helps me sleep throughout the night...
you know, in camps, your friends will usually tell you that the camp is haunted and stuff...
and sometimes, you will wake up at odd hours of the night and start imagining stuff thought they're not there (or are they???)
so, i love to get the coughs in camp cos i'll get my BENA EXPECTORENT and can sleep well throughout the night till wake up call....
just to share a lil...
kbye~ (^u^)/

I'M NOT DEAD!!!! yet....

2012-01-18T17:34:00.005+08:00

hey there peeps....

let's do that again...

HEY THERE READERS!!!! or the lack of it...

(trust me, it sounds better on video)

just so you know, i'm still pretty much alive...

in fact, so much more alive than i used to be that i no longer update you guys much...

(much apologies)

so, what to speak about today????

NO IDEA!!!

*insert your own version of the evil laugh here...

So, topic of the day, fo real!

here's the thing...

few weeks ago, anonymous (who is zis anonymous and why ish e eberywhere?) asked me on the site that shall not be named on how to dress up for a guy...

i'm not lying...

roll in screencap...

and my answer was....

dressing up smart for a man is not as simple as it seems actually… first of all, your dressing have to compliment your body size and skin color… get clothes that fit perfectly… don’t get clothes that are too big or too tight… but for the easiest yet most classy and smart looking would be a suit or you can just go with a button-up shirt (depending on situations, but the safest would be a plain white or black shirt), tie (skinny would be preferred for a more classy and fashionable look), blazer and proper jeans with dress shoes (leather or something similar)… sport shoes are too risky for smart style cos if it doesn’t fit too well, it’ll totally ruin your whole look…

i was so excited and overwhelmed that time for someone to ask me that that i might have missed out something...

so, now, i'll expound and explain more...

or rather, i'll show you some pictures of how to dress so it's easier...

letting people down

2011-10-01T08:33:00.004+08:00

one of my greatest weakness is that, i'm afraid of letting people down till sometimes that i could destroy myself...

it was so hard for me to send a text asking if i could pull out...

anyone of you has ever felt that way?

like it so hard to let people down that you rather just sacrifice your own interests?

what made me write this little post is that

i've applied for a post as a rexco member and had recently been approved...

you see, when my friends applied, i wanted to apply too

i did not think of the responsibilities and the time i'll have to sacrifice if i got in...

when my friends got in and my text came in late, i didn't feel so good like as though i'm not good enough...

but when the text came, i was happy for a minute till i began to think of all the personal time and interest i'll have to sacrifice and i began to regret that i applied...

i've sent a text yesterday asking if i could pull out...

the exco member asked me why and i've explained (in a text)

but i havent got a reply yet...

though i know that i have the right to pull out, i find it hard to send that text yesterday cos it kills me if i had to let people down...

since at a very young age, it matters to me what people think of me (another bad habit) to the point that it's hard for me to be true to myself and express my real thoughts and feelings in order not to jeopardize my relationship with that person....

can i ever be truly happy and true to myself if i keep on thinking of what people think that it kills me to the core???

HELP!!!

-but then again, i'm very good at letting people down unintentionally...

i'm a failure to myself a lot of times...-

I got assignments on my mind~~~

2011-09-25T16:26:00.007+08:00

assignments....

i thought i wont dread it but i am...

they're not easy and you have to do a lot for so little marks...

and you'll have to rush for time and battle laziness...

need will power!!!

-sorry if this post contains too many grammatical errors and inaccurate choice of words... i'm just tired and too lazy to think

2011-09-21T12:08:00.002+08:00

it's been too long since i last blogged...

there were just too many things going around...

or, i'm just plain lazy...

either...or....

these past few months, I've:

-joined National Service in Kem Tanjung Semarak, Pekan, Pahang...

-faff around

- ENTERED UNIVERSITY!!!!

now, i'm in my second week of university and it's kinda fun in a way...

it's just that, i'm in a town town...

not a city town...

there's nothing much here and the next big town with malls and stuff are like an hour away...

not too far though but it's kinda tiring to drive an hour just to shop...

but then again, i'll be going back every week (or so), so it wont be such a problem...

we've just got our Jaring account...

which means that i could go online more often now...WHEE!!!!

hmmmm.... there's just so much to tell but i dont feel like talking to just another computer...

so i guess i'll just stop....

BYE!

2011-05-09T01:11:00.001+08:00

how did Doc Don Dogoier (Green) turn from this

to this (below) in two episodes?

Back to December (Male Response Cover)

2011-05-06T18:31:00.007+08:00

i just wrote (changed the lyrics a little) for a Male Response to Taylor Swift's Back to December...

now, if only i could pick up the guts to sing it...

found the instrumental... but i cant find my guts...

anyways, here are the lyrics, whoever want to do it....

Back to December (Male Response Cover)

I'm so glad I finally see you

I’m fine, they’re doing great too

They’ve asked about you for a while

And you too, busier than ever

We small talk, work and the weather

My guard is up, and you know why

Because the last time I saw you

Still burns at the back of my mind

I gave you roses, but you left them there to die

But here am I swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying it’s gonna be alright

And I'd go back to December any time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized I should have never let you go

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I'd go back to December any time

These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, thinking the day you left me
When my birthday passed, and you didn't call

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the driver’s side
And realized I love you more and more

And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into your mind
I gave you all my love, and all you gave me was goodbye

But here am I swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying it’s gonna be alright
And I'd go back to December any time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized I should have never let you go
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I'd go back to December any time

I miss your dark hair, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me so tightly that September night
The first time I ever saw you cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I’d hold you tight

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if this is so darn awkward now, I understand

So here am I swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying it’s gonna be alright
And I'd go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized I should have never let you go
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
Let’s go back to December soon after all this time, all this time

ask me anything...

2011-04-12T14:01:00.002+08:00

this is really a chance in a lifetime (sorta)

i'm opening a Q & A session for anyone who reads my blog for the next few hours (this is a privilege for bloggers cos i only offered an hour on other sites...

so come on,

ask me anything and i'll answer it for the next 10 hours...

closing time would be 12.00am of 13th April 2011

limited to only one question per person...

so, ask me what's really on your mind...

and so it happened

2011-04-01T13:32:00.002+08:00

this is a true story... it happened yesterday night... late at night, i heard a knock at my door.... you might not find this weird but, you might not know this... i live alone.... oh kay... tbh, i was a little creeped out but when i heard a jingle, i knew it was my mum... but, why was she back? she was back with my sister... they were worried sick... you see, they called me and messaged me many times but i didn't answer.... turns out, i left my cellphone in my car... (kinda funny) you see, i was supposed to call my mum every night when i reach home after work... i thought about it and the thought became, i thought i already did (for some odd reason)... and then, i got a bit of a lecture... and my mum said, "it's not even 12 yet, and you already did this..." it was unintentional... i really forgot that i left my cellphone in the car.... -the end- so, you can get on with you amazing life now...

last blog of the month

2011-03-31T15:55:00.002+08:00

so, today is the 31st of March...

this would be the last blog of this month i guess...

if you've noticed, i've not been blogging much lately due not having enough time or idea to blog...

i was busy this month...

its the 1st semester thing, where there are exams and marking of papers as well as report writing...

other than that, the lack of internet at home prevents me from blogging in my free time...

.............. (~~)

i'll think of something to blog that will be worth your time....

bye...

Firework!

2011-03-14T12:06:00.000+08:00

the song says it all...

since nobody reads this anyways....

2011-02-14T12:46:00.002+08:00

since nobody read this anyways, and i just wanna let it out, i'll just put this here...

i'll share this since it's valentines....

i noticed a trend of my crush chases...

my sign of "Fine, i'll stop chasing you and wasting your precious time" is actually by giving them a present...which actually could mean a forked road...

depending on the after that, but they never fall to my favor...NEVER...

my first crush, i gave her a lollipop....

second one, a pair of earrings

and the third and last so far, i gave her a piece of cake and a puppy soft toy for her birthday...

and that is the story of my failures....

header change?

2011-02-11T22:41:00.001+08:00

with the release of new awkward plushies by Wong Fu, i guess i wanna change my header too....

but i'm a bit busy lately...

so, stay tuned for a new header soon...

#totallyrandom

what i did recently...

2011-02-10T17:09:00.002+08:00

well, if you haven't already know, Wednesdays are like my DAY off...

so, yesterday, i went down town to Bukit Bintang... which is part of the Golden Triangle of Kuala Lumpur...

i guess i walked all day and only sat in the train and during my desert break which i will tell you more about it soon...

memorable stuff....

1.i finally got my 1Tb external hard drive after wanting for it for a few months... after hours of surveying and asking, i finally got a WD Element 1Tb for RM 315 which original price is RM329... "is!" you might ask... yea, is... cos the shop is actually having promotion now...so, no need to bargain... but i'm uncertain when they will revert back to the original price... that was in Low Yat Plaza...

2.due to curiosity and time, i went for this prehistoric exhibition in Time Square...

i have my student card with me so entrance was only RM10...

it was nice and "educational"... but you have to be toured around, cant go in alone...

i was the only customer so it was kinda like a personal tour but then again, i dont usually make friends easily so i did not make a new friend...

3. i finally tasted macaroons at Godiva, Pavillion... it was kinda pricey at RM15 for 2 pieces...

it was nice and sweet...

4. i found Gosei Ground DX in a shop in Time Square but it was RM400... too pricey... but then again, i'll probably check ebay first...

what else???? i guess that's most of it for yesterday...

this morning, i woke up with a sore throat...

i left my air con on after the off timer time and thus, it was on till i woke up...

lack of water, and air con caused me to have a sore throat...

so i went out to get lemon...

i also went and get marble cake and dessicated coconut and made lamingtons with them

(i bought chocolate yesterday....)

i've never tried the real thing so i dont know how it should taste like but, oh well...

thats all for now... ttyl? no? it's okay i guess.... i'm used to it...

cant wait for February... kinda...

2011-01-27T12:21:00.003+08:00

i cant wait for February... kinda... maybe... i dunno... i'm confused...

line up of February that i'm looking forward to...

1. Chinese New Year!!! GONG XI GONG XI... i would like to wish all Chinese around the world a Happy Chinese New Year especially to all my friends and my favorite Youtube people Phil, Wes and Ted of Wong Fu and Kevin and dad of Kevjumba and also Harry Shum Jr. Have an awesome Year of the Rabbit... and make more awesome videos...

2. Power Rangers Samurai is premiering in February!!! cant wait... after one whole year of no Power Rangers, they're finally back with their rightful owner, Saban....

3. Glee would be back...YAY!!!!!

Script? Who wants to help me film?

2011-01-25T14:17:00.005+08:00

Dark Rainy Daze

Setting: Cafe, Raining heavily outside, Evening

Scene 1

A girl sitting by the window sipping on coffee, looking outside

Monologue: Today was the day he left me. He left me without a goodbye. He went away with her, far far away. The rain, oh the rain, you bring me such peace on this dreadful day. Oh, you mug of coffee, your kiss brings me comfort and oh chair, your sturdiness gives me support. It's like you guys are the only ones that understand my feeling now.

Scene 2

An office guy sitting at a corner, staring blankly onto a piece of paper.

Monologue: Today was the day I left my job. Or rather, my job left me. Goodbye financial security. And in this time and age, where can i find a good job. What did I do? What WILL I do? Would this be my last cup of good coffee? Would this be my last time wearing this necktie? Would this be the last time I actually even get to wear a necktie? Will all my Armani's lay in the closet, waiting for the day when i finally have a garage sale?

Scene 3

The rain finally stops. The girl looks outside and saw a rainbow. The guy looked up and saw the rainbow too. A little smile emerges from the girls face. She silently giggled a little as though she remembers something funny. The guy lifted his hand to call for the bill. The waiter came and the guy paid for his cup of coffee. He then walked over to the door. He looked at the girl and the girl looked back at him and they both smiled.

Scene 4

The words "There will always going to be a better tomorrow."

The end

Changes.

2011-01-13T18:50:00.002+08:00

hey guys...

it's been so long since i blogged...

i've been busy...

too many changes going on in my life (kinda)

i'm now a working person...

(whew, at least now i have my parents off my back on finding a job)

and i'm also living by myself in my old place...

things are busy...

but when i finish work, i get lonely when i get back to the house

cant call it a home cos my family is not there...

but, guess who accompanied me yesterday....

i was accompanied by Leonardo diCaprio and Tom Hanks...

haha...

i watched "Catch me if you can" on tv last night when i got back from work...

TV? really?

yea, i'm that lame...

oh, i haven't told you guys why tv...

its cos i dont have internet there...

i'm currently in my "office" waiting for other colleagues and students to start class...

that will be in like about an hour's time...

and i'm too lazy to go downstairs to eat while i wait... sigh...

i'm really lame...

i bet there has been a lot of changes for my parent too...

none of us 3 are at home during the day and Jeremy has now gone to the US (lucky person)...

sigh....

i'm hungry...

*random

Pages of My Diary

2010-12-22T22:25:00.001+08:00

Pages of My Diary
Jared Yap

You know, when you start move out of the house, you realize a lot of stuff. You realized that your parents won’t be there to cover for you when you’re in trouble; you realize you have to start worrying about house rent and the car’s down payment among other stuff. But, it took me that long to also realize, that the girl that I like is right there in front of me. Oh hey, my name is Wesley and this is a story about how I fell for her. I’ve known her all my life but it took me long enough to realize that she’s actually the one, as in, the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. She lived across the street in the opposite house and we moved in about the same time. That was about 25 years ago.

First, let me tell you a bit about myself. Well, actually, there’s nothing much about me that you will find interesting. I’m your everyday average person except for the fact that, I’m pretty much of what they would call a nice guy. You know, the nice guy. The one you call when you’re stuck somewhere and need a ride, the guy who would fix your computer for you or the guy that talks to you when no one seems like they would. But the thing about nice guys is, unlike the jocks, they don’t really get the girl they like, at least most of the time, but when they do, they’re a keeper.

The girl that I was telling you about, her name is Kristy, Kristy Yo. She’s your average girl next door. Simple, kind and somehow beautiful in a way it takes twice to see. She naturally has silky black hair, long most of the time but she occasionally curls them or shortens them. She’s your romance novel geek that easily falls in love but she is also very smart. Heck, she even scored a higher CGPA than me in high school. Her laugh is so contagious but what’s more than that, it’s actually quite sexy and her smile, you’ll feel like the whole world just brightens up by her smile alone. Her eyes, I just love those eyes. They shimmer like the stars especially under the moonlight. She’s the girl of my dreams and best of all, she’s my best friend.

It all started about 5 years ago, when I was 20 years old. I was in college at that time and I was living with a friend of mine. Kristy was in university and she lived on campus grounds. We meet every week and have our weekly lunches every Friday, where we both have the afternoons off. Well, one day, my housemate, Caleb came back home, complaining about his girlfriend, and it went on like this.

I was in the kitchen cooking when Caleb walked in.
"Dude, I don't get it man. I don’t understand." Caleb said as he poured himself a drink.
"Lemme guess, Tori?" I said, my eyes fixed on the pan as my omelet began to cook.
"There! Even you could guess it. Man, you understand women. Help me out here." Caleb said.
"Since when?" I asked.
"Since when what?" Caleb asked again.
"Since when do I understand women?" I rephrased his question.
"You know, since you're so close to them. You could chat with them easily. You just have this erm gift with women." Caleb said.
"You make me look like some Casanova or something. I'm not. Look, I grew up with 2 sisters and no brothers. It’s just natural for me to understand them, or at least a little about them. See, women are like a mystery, we, men are not meant to understand. You know, the Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars kinda thing." I began my lecture as I scooped up my omelet and transferred it on my plate.
"I'm listening" Caleb said.
"We're not meant to understand them. Our job is to just go with the flow, give in." I advised.
"But...." Caleb said.
"No buts. Just make her happy. You know, they said hell has no wrath like a woman scorned." I interrupted.
"Scary." Caleb replied.
"I know. But what can we do, they're the so-called weaker gender. Look who's the bully now." I said.
"I agree. Say, you know so much about women, why don’t you get one?" Caleb asked.
"Me? No, not now. Women, is like the last thing I wanna think about now. 2 sisters, a best GIRL friend and not to mention, my mum seems to be more than enough to handle for now. “I said.
"You and Kristy still in best friends relationship? I thought..."Caleb asked, sounding rather surprised.
"Dont even go there. We grew up together. She's practically my sister. Plus, she likes someone else." I said.
"Or maybe, you do like her but you can’t admit it?" Caleb said.
"No way." I said.
"Or maybe? I dont know. I mean, she's nice and all, but she's like a sister to me. Plus, I don’t wanna ruin what we have. Why risk a friendship?" I thought to myself.
"Alright, whatever. Can I have some of those?" Caleb asked, looking at the half eaten omelet I made.
Caleb just took the fork from my hand and grabbed a bite before walking out the door for his morning classes.
"HEY!" I shouted at him as Caleb ran off.
I just shook his head and grinned.
"Maybe Caleb was right. Maybe I do like Kritsy but I can’t admit it." I sighed.

I mean, I’ve been having this tingly feeling when I’m around her ever since two weeks ago when she was the only one who got my joke when I told it to our friends and she laughed so hard about it, tears began to fall from her eyes. So, I decided to tell her how I feel. But, being me, I can’t seem to be able to tell her directly. So, I actually dropped subtle hints, but that came to no avail as Kristy only think of those as me being her best friend and all. So, one day, I decided to tell her directly in one of our weekly Friday lunches, hoping she felt the same about me but it went down like this.

“Hey, Kris, I’m thinking of eating somewhere else today. I’ll come pick you up same time today?” I texted Kristy in the morning.
“Sure. Cya later then. Pls pick me up from my lecture hall cos’ there’s an extra class today.” Kristy replied.
So, about lunch time, I parked in front of her lecture hall to pick her up. I watched her as she walks to my car, giggling. She seemed happy about something. I’m hoping it’s good because I have something to tell her.
We stopped at this diner we used to spend our high school days at. It was further from where we usually go for lunch but I wanted to make this more special.
“It’s our favorite diner back when we were in high school.” Kristy exclaimed as we entered the diner.
After we ordered our food, we began to chat.
“Why here today? It’s been ages since we’ve been here.” Kristy asked.
“Well, I have something to tell you.” I said.
“Oh great! Cos I have something to tell you too.” Kristy said.
“Oh, really. You first.” I said.
“Okay. You know, there’s this guy in my sociology class, he’s so cute and guess what, he asked me to be his girlfriend today. I’m so happy and I just have to share this with you, my best friend.” Kristy told me.
My heart sank as she told me that particular detail but I had to pretend to be happy for her.
“I’m happy for you. You deserve it.” I replied, faking a smile so she won’t be suspicious of how I felt.
“So, what was it that you wanted to tell me?” Kristy leaned forward and asked me.
“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s not important” I said.
“Come on, of course it is. You brought me here a lot when we were in high school, especially when you have something to say.” Kristy insisted.
My heart began racing a mile a minute. I had to make something up.
“Er. It was just my house mate, Caleb. He’s kinda having some problem with his girlfriend. I’m just wondering if I could get a girl’s point of view on his case.” I said.
A part of me felt relieved that telling that would probably get Kristy to not ask on the real thing I wanted to tell her but a part of me felt bad that I had not told her the truth. But then again, I’m killing two birds with one stone here, getting help for Caleb and covering the thing that I wanted to tell Kristy about.

So then, Kristy went out with this guy, Parry. To be honest, I don’t really like him. He’s kind of arrogant and cocky. But I guess I’ll just keep that to myself. They were going strong, if you can call that, until one day, about 4 months later, Kristy told me she saw Parry kissing this new girl in university as she and her friends were walking to class. So, that evening, I went to her campus to comfort her when something like this happened.

Kristy and I were sitting at the bench just outside Kristy's dorm area. Kristy was crying.
"I don't know what to do Wes. I can't believe he did that to me." Kristy sobbed.
I just kept quiet. I knew that saying anything wouldn't help my best childhood friend.
I rubbed Kristy's back as let her lean on my shoulder as she wept.
"Do you want me to hug you?" I whispered.
Kristy just nodded silently as her head moved to my chest.
The warmth comforted Kristy in the cold night.

"YOU! STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!" a voice shouted from afar as a male figure approached us.
The man pulled me and Kristy apart and punched me in the face.
"PARRY! Stop it!" Kristy shouted.
The man, Parry turned towards Kristy.
"Babe. What happened? Did you just cry?" Parry asked her as he let go of me.
"It’s...it’s... nothing..." Kristy answered, stuttering.
"No, it’s not nothing. Take a wild guess at who made her cry..." I said to Parry, Kristy shaking her head, mouthing a "No" at me, pleading.
"SHUT YOU FACE HOLE GEEK!" Parry shouted at me.
"What...what happened babe." Parry asked Kristy as he tried to grab her but she shrugged him off.
"Tell him Kris. Tell him or I will." I urged Kristy.
"Tell me what?" Parry looked at Kristy.
Kristy just shook her head.

"You can’t let this happen Kris. You know what you did?! Kristy saw you kissing the new girl, Sasha was it..." I, getting angry said to Parry.
"Wh...I'm... I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean to. She came over me and started flirting with me. The next thing I know, she's kissing me. I know I should've stopped her, but I cant... I'm sorry." Parry pleaded with Kristy.
"What do you mean you can’t?" Kristy asked, doubt and disbelieve in her tone.
"I'm a man, babe. I have my needs. And since you don't want to satisfy them, I can’t help myself but get it from another girl." Parry said, justifying his actions and trying to shift the blame on Kristy.
"Wh...what?" Kristy said, in disbelieve that he just said that.
Realizing the truth of Parry's intentions to be with her, Kristy took a deep breath.
"I promised myself to stay pure and keep my virginity. If you can’t respect that, I don't think we should be together." Kristy said, strong.
"So you breaking up with me now heh, b*tch. You know what, I'm tired of you keeping your V-card all to yourself. I dont need you..." Parry shouted at Kristy.
"YOU JERK!" I shouted as I dashed towards Parry and punched him in the gut.
I was going for another punch when Kristy stopped him.
"WES! STOP!" Kristy stopped me and pulled me away.
"He's not worth it." Kristy said to me, shaking her head in disappointment.
The two of us walked towards Kristy's dorm compound.
"Yeah! Walk away now. Walk away..." Parry said as he stood up, holding his stomach in pain.
I turned my head but Kristy squeezed my arm, shaking her head.
We continued to walk in.

We then sat on the seat of the garden set in Kristy's dorm compound.
"Does it hurt?" Kristy asked as she applied ointment at my lip bruise.
"Ow...ow..." I reacted to the pain.
"It does" I said with a laugh in my tone.
Then, our eyes met.
It felt like there's a connection.
Suddenly, my cellphone rang.
I grabbed and answered my cellphone.
"Dude, where are you? You're supposed to be here for practice remember?" Caleb, who was on the other side said.
"Yea, yea. I'll be there soon." I answered as I pressed the red button.
"Duty calls." I joked as I looked at Kristy.
Kristy laughed.
"Thank you." Kristy whispered.
I just nodded as he gave an assuring smile.
"I'll walk you back to you dorm." I offered.
"It's okay." Kristy answered.
"No, I insist." I said.
"Fine." Kristy said with a smile.

We walked towards Kristy's dorm building.
I stopped about 5 meters away from the door as Kristy walks on.
Arriving at the door, Kristy turned and gave a wave.
I returned the gesture.
Kristy laughed and entered her dorm.
I smiled and shook my head as I walked off.

Kristy is single again and yes, I still have feelings for her. But, I felt like she needs time to cool off first. I guess there could be another time to “drop the bomb”. Little did I know, she dropped the bomb first, but not the type of bomb that u would like. It was during my annual semester end party which I always invite Kristy to join. The bomb was dropped like this.
It was the annual semester end party, but this time, it's different due to the fact that this would be our last semester thus this party will be the last annual semester end party. What made this even more different is the fact that Kristy dropped the big bomb on me. And it wasn't the kind of news that anyone would like to hear from a friend let alone their best friend. She told me something that might change everything I've ever known.

Kristy was really quiet this time. She was not really in the mood for a party. Everyone on our table chatted happily but Kristy was really quiet which is really odd for her. When asked, she just said she was not feeling well, but I know there’s more to that than just not feeling well.
As Kristy excused herself and head to the lady's i followed her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Kris, are you okay? You've been really quiet all night? Is something wrong? And don’t tell me you're just not feeling well cos I know that’s not it" I said.
"Wes, I'm fine. Really. I'm just not feeling too well." Kristy replied.
"I know you too well. Being under the weather doesn't get you down like this." I said.
"You're right. My dad got promoted. They dropped me the news yesterday." Kristy said.
"That's great!" I told her.
"The thing is, it's gonna be in LA as in Los Angeles. My whole family will be moving there next year and by next year, I mean next month." Kristy said, getting teary eyed.

Now all the pieces fit together. I know exactly why she was so quiet. At the same time, my heart crumbled and shatter into pieces. Will I be able to tell her before it is too late? Or should I tell her at all? I'm afraid that if I do, I would make this so much harder than it already is. I'll be holding her back.
Kristy began to sob as I held her and gave my shoulder for her to cry on.
Calmly, I told her "It's gonna be alright. We'll keep in touch no matter where we are and how far we're apart. We have Facebook and Skype now, remember."

I faked a smile as I told her that, holding my tears back as I'm about to let go of the girl I fell for.
It was always Kristy's dream to go and have a new life in New York and LA is one step nearer to achieving it for her.
I was not going to hold her back. I couldn't afford to. Seeing her happy is that important to me.
She looked at me as I gently wiped the tears from her eyes.
Her mascara smudged and we started laughing, just to break the tension.
I watched her as she made her way to the lady's, my heart aches with every step she took.
It will only be 10 more days till she leaves.
In those 10 days, I'm gonna try my best to make sure she leaves without a single regret in mind.
I promised myself that and I promised not to let her know how I felt about her.

That day finally came, the day where Kristy would leave to be half way around the world, too many miles too far away.
We are at the airport, just me and Kristy's family.
My parents could not make it due to work obligations and I had to send them to the airport.
I pulled Kristy aside soon after.
I wanted to bid my last farewells to her in private.
My heart wanted to say those three words but "I'll miss you...a lot." came out instead.
"I'll miss you too." she said.
"Take care okay." I said to her.
She just nodded.
We hugged after that.
I wish time would stop for a moment like this.
It was a hard Goodbye.

"FLIGHT LA6549 TO LOS ANGELES WILL DEPART IN 10 MINUTES. PASSENGERS, PLEASE PROCEED TO TERMINAL 3" the announcement went on.
We let go of each other as we walked back to Uncle Christopher, Auntie Katie, and Kina, Kristy's sister.
I accompanied them till the furthest I could go.
I watched as they walked into the terminal and waved my final farewell as Kristy walked pass the arch.
I stayed a while longer as i watched the airplanes take off.
Confident that that airplane was the one Kristy was on board, I waved up to the sky as I watch it leave.
Walking back to my car, I felt my world changing.
No more calling up somebody or expecting somebody to call me in the middle of the night just to talk. No more lunches together every Tuesday, Kristy's and my weekly routine, no more laughing our heads of at silly jokes and puns and also, no more walking through the streets with somebody by my side after a long day.

So there she goes, half way around the world. We kept in touch but due to time difference, we rarely get to chat long. Once in a while, we send each other letters and packages of things that we cannot get where we were. Life went on as usual. Each day seems normal except for the fact that I felt a little lonelier. Caleb has moved put, back to his hometown and I now have the house all to myself. My parents come over to visit once in a while. Two years after graduation, and into my job, I decided to further my studies to my masters. So, I applied for university. Two months later, I got my reply and I got into UCLA, as in University California, Los Angeles and Los Angeles, as in Los Angeles where Kristy is. I was ecstatic. Maybe we might have a chance after all. I did not tell Kristy, hoping to surprise her. 5 months later, I moved to UCLA and that was the holiday seasons. I knew Kristy’s house address as we send stuff to each other. I thought of celebrating Thanksgiving with the Yo’s as they are the closest thing to family I have. And the story went on like this.

Ding Dong, the doorbell went. Kina ran towards the door and opened it, surprised to find me at the door.
“Wesley! What are you doing here?” Kina exclaimed as she gave a big smile.
I laughed and told her that I just landed in LA 2 weeks ago and moved into my apartment near UCLA.
“Is Kristy home yet?” I asked.
“No, she’s at work. But she’ll probably be back around this time.” Kina replied.
“Great. I’ll wait for her. Say hello to your parents for me.” I replied.
“Sure.” Kina said as she went back in.
About 10 minutes later, a familiar figure walked towards the house. She was not alone. My heart sank a little. They seemed to be hand in hand, laughing away when the female turned and saw me. She let go of the male’s hand and ran towards me.
“WES!” she shouted as she ran towards me and threw in a hug around me.
I hugged her back.
“It’s been a while, Kris.” I said.
“What brings you here?” Kristy asked, a bug smile on her face.
“I’ll tell you later.” I said.
By then, the man has reached to where we were.
“Oh, Wes, this is Leon. He’s my coworker and recently became my boyfriend.” Kristy introduced the man.
“Nice to meet you. Kristy has told me a lot about you.” Leon said as he held out his hand.
I held out my hand and shook his.
“Nice to meet you too. Sad that I can’t say the same about you.” I joked as I looked at Kristy.
“I can’t reach you these days.” Kristy said.
I laughed.
“That’s probably cos I’ve been moving here.” I replied.
“You’re moving here?!” Kristy was shocked, in a good way.
“It’s getting cold, let’s go in.” Leon said.
“Yea, we should. I’ll tell you guys more over dinner.” I said.
Over dinner, Kristy introduced Leon to her family and we talked about a lot of stuff over dinner.
Auntie Katie prepared an awesome meal and I was stuffed.

To me, Leon was much better than Parry ever will be. He’s a gentleman, successful and nice. Now, how can I beat that. Though it’s hard for me to admit, but if I’m to lose Kristy to another man, it would be him. I know that he could treat her well. I guess I’ll just have to raise the white flag to Leon. Two years later, the following event happened.

“Wes, I have to tell you something. Meet me in the Starbucks near my office.” Kristy said through the cellphone, she sounded excited.
“Oh, ok.” I replied.
So, I went down to Starbucks during lunch hour to meet up with Kristy.
I waited for about 15 minutes when I saw Kristy walked in.
I handed a cup of her favorite frap to her as we sat down and talk.
“What was it that you want to talk to me about?” I asked Kristy, eager to find out what made my friend so happy.
She pulled out her left hand and show me a giant bling on the ring finger.
“Is that a…” I asked.
“Yes! Leon proposed to me last night. I said yes.” Kristy exclaimed with joy.
My heart knew that I should be happy for her but I can’t help but feel a little sad that I no longer have a chance in this.
The topic of the afternoon revolved around the ring and preparations for the wedding.
The wedding would be in 2 months’ time and Kristy wanted Kina and I to help her out.
We went shopping together for her dress among other stuff.
I was truly happy for her. After all, she deserved the best.
So, the day finally arrived when Kristy will get married to Leon.
It was beautiful and I’ve never seen Kristy this happy.
I soon shook of my feelings for her and was truly happy as long as she is happy with Leon.

Nothing has really changed even after Kristy got married. I soon graduated from UCLA and got a job in LA, so, I decided to move there for real. Kristy and I continued our weekly Friday lunches and life went on well. I now see Kristy as my best friend, a friend I had since I was young, a friend I once had a crush on. I am no the godfather of her kids. I’m still looking for the right person, and maybe Kristy was not the one for me. I do not know when but I know that love will eventually find me one day. I hope you will have better luck than me on this. But now, I have to go out and meet Kristy for our weekly Friday lunches. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

2010-12-22T22:22:00.004+08:00

after a long grueling day of writing, i finally finished my short story...

so, i can cross that out of my after-stpm-to-do list now...

here's the intro to it but you can read the whole story at http://www.scribd.com/doc/45789277/Pages-of-My-Diary

so, here goes...

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

-0-0-0-0-0

but if you're too lazy to go to Scribd, you can read it above...

Magical Christmas?

2010-12-13T00:44:00.002+08:00

you know what would be awesome?!

having an almost magical Christmas...

i know... thats how the world supposedly sees it but hey, even i want to dream of a white Christmas as well you know...

i really wished i could experience Christmas like those kids in Western countries where on Christmas eve, they either sit around the Christmas tree by the fire and wait till midnight to open their presents and having a jolly good time without a care in the world...

or having fun just decorating the Christmas tree with carols and Christmas songs playing in the background...

or just waking up to Christmas with laughter and fun...

or playing with snow and making snowmen...

that will be an experience that i would like to have...

but i think i'm too old for that and i never really had a chance to have that as far as i could remember...

and now, we have Christmas Carnival every year and thus, no waking up late and lazing around on Christmas...

sigh....

if only we can be like kids and feel the "magic" of Christmas...

a feeling that the world is at total peace for just one day...

Another piece...

2010-12-10T11:57:00.009+08:00

another scene...

one of the important scenes in my short story...

i'm trying something different as in I'm gonna write this in a first person point of view and see which is better...

oh, and by the way, i figured the title for this story. well, actually, i thought of 2, need help choosing one.

should I put it as "Pages of My Diary" or "Moments with Her."?

anyways, enough of me, time for the scene...

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

It was the annual semester end party, but this time, it's different due to the fact that this would be our last semester thus this party will be the last annual semester end party. What made this even more different is the fact that Kristy drop the big bomb on me. And it wasn't the kind of news that anyone would like to hear from a friend let alone their best friend. She told me something that might change everything I've ever know.

Kristy was really quiet this time. She was not really in the mood for a party. Everyone on our table chatted happily but Kristy was really quiet which is really odd for her. When asked, she just said she was not feeling well, but I know theres more to that than just not feeling well.

As Kristy excused herself and head to the lady's i followed her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Kris, are you okay? You've been really quiet all night? Is something wrong? And dont tell me you're just not feeling well cos I know thats not it" I said.

"Wes, I'm fine. Really. I'm just not feeling too well." Kristy replied.

"I know you too well. Being under the weather doesn't get you down like this." I said.

"You're right. My dad got promoted. They dropped me the news yesterday." Kristy said.

"That's great!" I told her.

"The thing is, it's gonna be in LA as in Los Angeles. My whole family will be moving there next year and by next year, I mean next month." Kristy said, getting teary eyed.

Now all the pieces fit together. I know exactly why she was so quiet. At the same time, my heart crumbled and shatter into pieces. Will I be able to tell her before it is too late? Or should I tell her at all? I'm afraid that if I do, I would make this so much harder than it already is. I'll be holding her back.

Kristy began to sob as I held her and gave my shoulder for her to cry on.

Calmly, I told her "It's gonna be alright. We'll keep in touch no matter where we are and how far we're apart. We have Facebook and Skype now, remember."

I faked a smile as I told her that, holding my tears back as I'm about to let go of the girl I fell for.

It was always Kristy's dream to go and have a new life in New York and LA is one step nearer to achieving it for her.

I was not going to hold her back. I couldn't afford to. Seeing her happy is that important to me.

She looked at me as I gently wiped the tears from her eyes.

Her mascara smudged and we started laughing, just to break the tension.

I watched her as she made her way to the lady's, my heart aches with every step she took.

It will only be 10 more days till she leaves.

In those 10 days, I'm gonna try my best to make sure she leaves without a single regret in mind.

I promised myself that and I promised not to let her know how I felt about her.

That day finally came, the day where Kristy would leave to be half way around the world, too many miles too far away.

We are at the airport, just me and Kristy's family.

My parents could not make it due to work obligations and I had to send them to the airport.

I pulled Kristy aside soon after.

I wanted to bid my last farewells to her in private.

My heart wanted to say those three words but "I'll miss you...a lot." came out instead.

"I'll miss you too." she said.

"Take care okay." I said to her.

She just nodded.

We hugged after that.

I wish time would stop for a moment like this.

It was a hard Goodbye.

"FLIGHT LA6549 TO LOS ANGELES WILL DEPART IN 10 MINUTES. PASSENGERS, PLEASE PROCEED TO TERMINAL 3" the announcement went on.

We let go of each other as we walked back to Uncle Christopher, Auntie Katie, and Kira, Kristy's sister.

I accompanied them till the furthest I could go.

I watched as they walked into the terminal and waved my final farewell as Kristy walked pass the arch.

I stayed a while longer as i watched the airplanes take off.

Confident that that airplane was the one Kristy was on board, I waved up to the sky as I watch it leave.

Walking back to my car, I felt my world changing.

No more calling up somebody or expecting somebody to call me in the middle of the night just to talk. No more lunches together every Tuesday, Kristy's and my weekly routine, no more laughing our heads of at silly jokes and puns and also, no more walking through the streets with somebody by my side after a long day.

Awkward Moment (in detail) #1

2010-12-04T23:51:00.004+08:00

you know whats awkward...

when you are watching a vlog on youtube and noticed that something (and by something, i meant dirt) is on your screen at the most inappropriate places...

like when the dirt is just at the vlogger's boobs or face...

you wanna just scratch the dirt off but you'll think that people will think that you're a sex addict or homo (if the vlogger is of the same gender)...

lemme know if that has ever happened to you...

I think i'll pen them down

2010-12-04T15:40:00.004+08:00

i think i'll start (or should i say develop) this story after i finish STPM, which is two weeks more to go...

if you dont know what i'm talking about, look at (and read) the post below...

anyone wants to know what is it gonna be about?

i'll tell you anyways...

its gonna be a classic tale of a guy realizing he fell for his childhood best friend and the obstacles that come his way just because he is afraid to tell her how he feels, afraid that it might ruin his friendship with her and everything he has ever known.

for staying with me this long, i'll give you a little sneak peak on the next scene i'm gonna write... it's one of the climax of the story...

well, actually, its not really a sneak peak, its more of a sneak pic....

i'm gonna use this photo for the next scene's erm.... emotion setting orwhatever you wanna call it...

Another Short Scene...

2010-12-02T23:12:00.006+08:00

here's another scene that has been playing in my mind...

yes, i love the names Wesley and Kristy and thus used them again...

you know, if i can fill in the gaps and everything, this could actually turn out to be a script...

__________

Wesley and Kristy were sitting at the bench just outside Kristy's dorm area.

Kirsty was crying.

"I don't know what to do Wes. I can't believe he did that to me." Kristy sobbed.

Wesley just kept quiet. He knew that saying anything wouldn't help his best childhood friend.

Wesley rubbed Kristy's back as he let her lean on his shoulder as she wept.

"Do you want me to hug you?" Wesley whispered.

Kristy just nodded silently as her head moved to Wesley's chest.

The warmth form Wesley comforted Kristy in the cold night.

"YOU! STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!" a voice shouted from afar as a male figure approached them.

The man pulled Wesley and Kristy apart and punched Wesley in the face.

"PARRY! Stop it!" Kristy shouted.

The man, Parry turned towards Kristy.

"Babe. What happened? Did you just cry?" Parry asked her as he let go of Wesley.

"Its...its... nothing..." Kristy answered, stuttering.

"No, its not nothing. Take a wild guess at who made her cry..." Wesley said to Parry, Kristy shaking her head, mouthing a "No" at Wesley, pleading.

"SHUT YOU FACE HOLE GEEK!" Parry shouted at Wesley.

"What...what happened babe." Parry asked Kristy as he tried to grab her but she shrugged him off.

"Tell him Kris. Tell him or I will." Wesley urged Kristy.

"Tell me what?" Parry looked at Kristy.

Kristy just shake her head.

"You cant let this happen Kris. You know what you did?! Kristy saw you kissing the new girl, Sasha was it..." Wesley, getting angry said to Parry.

"Wh...I'm... I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean to. She came over me and started flirting with me. The next thing I know, she's kissing me. I know I should've stopped her, but I cant... I'm sorry."Parry pleaded with Kristy.

"What do you mean you cant?" Kristy asked, doubt and disbelieve in her tone.

"I'm a man, babe. I have my needs. And since you don't want to satisfy them, I cant help myself but get it from another girl." Parry said, justifying his actions and trying to shift the blame on Kristy.

"Wh...what?" Kristy said, in disbelieve that he just said that.

Realizing the truth of Parry's intentions to be with her, Kristy took a deep breath.

"I promised myself to stay pure and keep my virginity. If you cant respect that, I don't think we should be together." Kristy said, strong.

"So you breaking up with me now heh, b*tch. You know what, I'm tired of you keeping your V-card all to yourself. I dont need you..." Parry shouted at Kristy.

"YOU JERK!" Wesley shouted as he dashed towards Parry and punched him in the gut.

Wesley was going for another punch when Kristy stopped him.

"WES! STOP!" Kristy stopped Wesley and pulled him away.

"He's not worth it."Kristy said to Wesley, shaking her head in disappointment.

The two of them walked towards Kristy'd dorm compound.

"Yeah! Walk away now. Walk away..." Parry said as he stand up, holding his stomach in pain.

Wesley turned his head but Kristy squeezed his arm, shaking her head.

They continued to walk in.

The two besties sat on the seat of the garden set in Kristy's dorm compound.

"Does it hurt?" Kristy asked as she applied ointment at Wesley's lip bruise.

"Ow...ow..." Wesley reacted to the pain.

"It does" Wesley said with a laugh in his tone.

Then, their eyes met.

It felt like there's a connection.

Suddenly, Wesley's cellphone rang.

Wesley grabbed and answered his cellphone.

"Dude, where are you? You're supposed to be here for practice remember?" the guy on the other side said.

"Yea, yea. I'll be there soon." Wesley answered as he pressed the red button.

"Duty calls." Wesley joked as he looked at Kristy.

Kristy laughed.

"Thank you." Kristy whispered.

Wesley just nodded as he gave an assuring smile.

"I'll walk you back to you dorm." Wesley offered.

"It's okay." Kristy answered.

"No, I insist." Wesley said.

"Fine." Kristy said with a smile.

The two walked towards Kristy's dorm building.

Wesley stopped about 5 meters away from the door as Kristy walks on.

Arriving at the door, Kristy turned and gave a wave.

Wesley returned the gesture.

Kristy laughed and entered her dorm.

Wesley smiled and shook his head as he walked off.

Christmas Wishlist...

2010-11-29T12:07:00.003+08:00

i know Christmas is a time of giving...

so, why dont you give these to me.....

just kidding....

~cue in awkward silence, sounds of wind and crows~

i'm sorry...

now, really...

the below is actually my wishlist...

which i will probably end up buying myself anyways...

1. Plaid Shirt (blue or white/black, long sleeves)

2. Speakers (not just any speakers, Panda speakers, either blue or black)

3. a new bag (my white bag has a broken zipper)

4. Mix-Style headphones (though the real ones would be awesome, but imitation ones are okay...oh, and the color matters... i want either the blue, white or black headphones)

5. Wallet (white color would be great)

thats all....for now...

but if you're really nice, maybe you can get me a NiceGuy t-shirt...

i see a lot of white here....

maybe white would be my color next year...

Exam Rating for Asians - How it is and how its supposed to be.

2010-11-28T21:08:00.002+08:00

for Asians, we or rather our parents have a different rating system for our exams than the rest of the world...

this is how it is for Asian parents...

A= Average
B= Below Average
C= Crappy
D= Death (partially from parents)

F= F*cked (partially from parents)

But i think this is how its supposed to be

A = Awesome

B = Beyond Awesome

C = Cause you're Awesome

D = Deadly Awesome

F = Freaking Awesome

Youtube Amazing Race?

2010-11-28T15:32:00.008+08:00

a number of famous youtubers that i follow on twitter were "discussing" on a Youtube Amazing Race...

if that ever happens, what will the 11 teams of 2 will be?

lets see my list.

(this is purely made up, which will probably never happen, but oh well)

01. Team HappyJumba - Kevin Wu and Christine Gambito

02. Team WangFu - Philip Wang and Ted Fu

03. Team Stalk Fest - Wesley Chan and Cathy Nguyen

04. Team A.S.S - Ryan Higa and Arden Cho

05. Team Aussies - Natalie Tran and Mitch

06. Team MTWY - David Choi and Kina Grannis

07. Team Vic-Trix - Dominic Sandoval and Victor Kim

08. Team Smosh - Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla

09. Team Beauty Gurus - Lindy Tsang and Michelle Phan

10. Team Yale - Kurt Schneider and Sam Tsui

11. Team La-Ter - Chester See and Lana McKissack

UPDATE! (07/12/10)

i finally finished the video...

made some changes to the teams

random rambles

2010-11-28T00:25:00.002+08:00

dont read this...

i'm writing this for the fun of expression...

its pretty much nonsense...

you have been warned...

but since you still wanna read this, be my guest...

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

i'm beginning to think that maybe, just maybe

God made me unable to study or kinda easily distracted especially from studying cos maybe, just maybe... this will lead me to somewhere and public university might not be that place...

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

ok, enough of my weird ramblings...

here's what i've been up to today...

2010-11-27T20:42:00.002+08:00

so, this is what i did almost the whole day today...

i made a fan-made opening for Power Rangers Samurai that will be airing next year...

take a look and tell me what you think...

even of you're not a ranger fan, check it out too and tell me how you think i could further improve my editing skills...

Get to know Jared 101 - Famous Lines

2010-11-27T11:22:00.006+08:00

Step one the get to know me...

know my lines...

so, to help you, i'm gonna let you in on a few lines that i always use...

1. ewww....

2. i'm confused...

3. sheer awesomeness

4. really?

5. errrrr.....

6. i guess.....

7. true true...

8. oh

9. not really...

10. kinda....maybe....

now there people, you have now learned a few of my famous last words...

or is it lines....

i'm confused...

so, now you know me a little bit better...

Girls are like chocolates...

2010-11-26T17:18:00.002+08:00

adding on to KevJumba, i think girls are like chocolates...

they make you feel good but dont warn you of the negative effects till its too late and the cure takes time...

like how chocolate dont warn you till you finally realize you're fat and have pimples all over, girls dont warn you when they'll blow up..

they also dont warn you but you'll have less money in your pocket and soon, you cant spend on yourself anymore...

girls also can cause you to always think about them and you'll finally neglect yourself...

its weird...

but we guys still do it...

i guess talking about girls make me a straight guy...

thats random...

byes...

video by Kevjumba...

(but look on the bright side, i'm promoting the video)

ok, i'm getting pretty weird now (probably due to the lack of sleep)

so, i'm gonna sign off...

byes....again....

Pet Peeve(s) - I now have one

2010-11-23T12:02:00.002+08:00

i used to think that i dont really have a pt peeve, but now, i realize, like every average human being, i do have one...

and my pet peeve is ....drum roll.....

inconsiderate people....

i find inconsiderate people very annoying...

they're worse than selfish people in a way where they try to secure themselves or benifit themselves AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS...

they make people wait for a long time in a queue just so that they can count their change, they make the people that they carpool with wait just so they could talk to their other friends, they park their cars in an odd position so that no one could block them but they do not care if they are making it hard for others to park their cars and soooo many more....

its really annoying...

today was the first day of my major exam...

when the time is up, this one guy was checking everything again SLOWLY, making sure his stuff are complete...

one of the invigilators had already picked up all the other papers, only his left...

and he made us wait for like 10-15 minutes for him to check his papers...

come on! others had the same amount of time yet we finished our work already...

you're holding people up...

and when we "teased" him on making people wait, not even a word of sorry but just justifying that he did that for safety...

yea, like others dont need safety...

we do, we just dont do it at the expense of others...

its like when you are in a burning building, you use another person to shield you all the way, not caring if that person will survive or not...

and when we are to go back already, the very same person made us wait for like 20 minutes or so just so he could discuss on the exam...

the exam is already over...

no point discussing...

how if i had an emergency all of a sudden but cant find him and just left...

i wonder will i get some scolding...

sheesh...

and he always "apologize" but this is not the first time, nor the second...

he did it so many times i lost count...

and this time, not even a word of sorry....

and i guess he isn't sensitive enough to feel that i was annoyed...

sheesh....

but i really thank God for another friend of mine who let me vent out just now...

Movies that i want to watch

2010-11-19T23:19:00.002+08:00

1. Despicable Me

2. Megamind

3. Life As We Know It

4. Chronicles of Narnia: Vovage of the Dawn Treader

5. Sammy's Adventures: The Secret Passage

hmmm... what else?

random yet common scenario

2010-11-16T12:41:00.003+08:00

White: Hey, are you Jackie Chan?
Asian: Erm, no. What makes you think I am?

White: gosh! You Asians all look alike.

Asian: No we dont.

White: Yes you do.

Asian: You white people just cant see right...

if anyone who have small eyes and round nose is Jackie Chan, then yea, I'm Jackie Chan y'all...

fitting in is just not my thang nemore...

2010-11-11T20:28:00.001+08:00

i always felt that i don't fit in...

today, i know i don't...

i guess its better that way...

makes "saying" goodbye a whole lot easier...

i'll just finish up STPM and go...

wont look back...

to be honest...(read with caution)

2010-11-04T18:49:00.002+08:00

i've been thinking...

maybe this period of time, this very dulling depressing time

where it seems like people are letting me down, where i do a lot of stuff to try and make others happy but ended up hurt by the reluctance of some party to help or the back talking that i'm trying to get into the good books and the unappreciative behavior of others,

is actually a time where God is letting me feel what some others are feeling...

instances that broke my heart just thinking about it...

instances that i just felt like there's really no other redeeming quality left...

instances where i just HATE myself for doing things that others just dont understand...

they really get to me like a thorn in my skin...

and they left me wounded for days resulting to a quieter than usual self of mine...

such instances if i must share would be...

when it come to the so-called CF that we tried to make

we had our first meeting...

everyone was like "it was awesome", "maybe we should do more", "we should have started earlier"

but then, we never had another meeting since then...

this was due to absents and disapproval of parents to stay back...

i was to be honest, saddened by this...

if your parents dont approve, its fine...

but if you're absent, COME ON!

do you know how tired and lazy i was but i still lift my butt and come to school just so that we could meet, to actually pray for this dying land and here we are, some just too lazy to come...

is sleeping more important than the fact that the end times is near, that people are actually dying without Christ?

*ok calm down...

i think God is actually trying to show me what broke His heart...

that His people would rather be complacent, be happy in their own comfort than to actually start going on their knees, CRYING for the land....

and I think He did accomplish His goal, to break my heart for what broke His...

cos it broke my heart to see the CF gone just like that, just after one meeting...

and the other was (if you read my tweet) the feeling of being unappreciated...

i know that in whatever we do, we should not take the glory to ourselves...

i'm not trying to take the glory and the name, i just want people to at least appreciate me more...

i've been feeling unappreciated lately...

be it friends in school or family members (though i can sometimes feel appreciated)

my friends kinda treat me like their driver already...

going here, going there...

and when they talk about going for trips that they dont need transport, they actually talked beside me where i could hear them but they never asked for me to join them....

yea yea... i'm supposed to make the move to join them but knowing me, i dont like to jump into the wagon uninvited...

and sometimes at home, i try to go out of my way to try and make my parents happy....

but then, when i try to ask for help, i was faced with reluctance and sour faces...

and though i should not be too sensitive, it gets on my nerves...

here i am, trying to maintain the peace at home...

and maybe, just maybe, bring some happy times...

but was face with this type of nonsense instead....

yayaya... i'm the witch, nagging to get things done, but for who? for WHO i just wanna ask...

you think i enjoy doing house chores?

no, I dont... but i would do it to make at least Mum happy...

so, why is it that you cant help me out...

when mum is happy, everyone gets happy, but when things are not done, why is it that i have to listen to all the complaints?

do you know, i have to listen to all the complaints the most...

my parents complain and nag when the other 2 arent around...

and i have to listen to all that...

and i'm affected by it...

i get hurt... yet no one knows...

everyone blames me for being a bottle but the truth is, i was forced to be this way due to circumstances...

*calm

i'm thinking that God is showing me the feelings of a mother...

work the whole day or quit a high paying job just for the family only to be faced with a load of nonsense and being unappreciated...

Mum, i'm trying my best to appreciate you more...

cos now i know how you felt...

blablabla...

sorry to pour it all out...

but no one reads my dying blog anyways, so, whatever...

stuff i so wanna get...

2010-11-02T22:55:00.002+08:00

next year, when i get a job, and then my pay, i really want to get these...

Raise Your hand if you're a Nice Guy T-shirt

i like the back of it too...

it said "shoulders to lean on" at the top...

and this too...

Awkward Rhino

and/or an Awkward Turtle

unless if someone want to get them for me.... hehehe...

A "short" love story

2010-11-02T22:04:00.004+08:00

this is a whole different story than the one i did before and will do after this...

--------------------------------

Friends around Sky are slowing getting into a relationship one by one.

Naturally, Sky got a little jealous.

What is he lacking that he cant seem to get the girls.

Then, in his class, he saw Molly.

She was smart, polite and overall nice.

She's just average in the looks department but that doesn't matter.

Sky is a bit desperate, not wanting to lose out.

He tried to drop subtle hints to Molly.

He walks her to to the bus stop after classes, greets her every morning and even got her gifts for her birthday.

He was rather unsure if she even got the message.

Little did he realize, Sky slowly fell for Molly.

His "challenge" turned into genuine affection.

Soon enough, Sky's friends got the idea and encouraged him.

They knew Molly longer than Sky and they know that Molly is not an easy target.

They tried to help but it was not working.

Soon after, the school organized a trip.

Sky went but Molly cant.

During the trip, a girl, Emily took in a liking towards Sky.

Emily said that she would like to have a shot at being with Sky.

Now, Emily is pretty, tall, funny and optimistic.

She' smart too but not as smart as Molly.

Sky was taken aback by the remark.

Honestly, he was not sure.

He just laughed it off, treating it as a mere joke.

He thinks it is not fair for Molly.
How if Molly got the message but pretended not to know.

How of Molly might like him too but is too shy to tell.

Sky doesn't want to lose his friendship but he doesn't want to miss this chance either.

Sky is confused.

He didn't know what to do.

If he goes out with Emily, it might be unfair for Molly.

But if he continues to pursue Molly, he might lose his friendship with Molly and it would also be unfair for Emily.

little stuffs that i do

2010-10-30T23:27:00.006+08:00

you know...

i'm rather okay with ideas/scenes... short ones though

but good enough to provide inspiration for people to work with and develop them...

so, maybe, just maybe, i'll put them up on my blog and see what happens...

who know...

Think Twice

Rina and Kate were in Rina's living room, chatting.

"You know Rin, I've been so worked up lately. It's tiring." Kate said.

"I know honey." Rina said to Kate and gave her a hug and a shoulder to lean on.

"I mean, life is just so, tiring when you keep on giving. Being a nice person and not say no when others need you. Sometimes, I wish I could be selfish. Just sometimes....."Kate said until she was interrupted by a phone call.

"Kate, can you come back now. I need you. I dont wanna be alone." said Kathy, Kate's recently singled sister through the other side.
"But Kathy, I'm in the middle of something here." Kate answered.

"You said you'll be there for me." Kathy replied.

Kate sighed.

"Fine, I'll be there. Give me 30 minutes, okay." Kate replied as she hang up.

"Here you go again." Rina remarked.

"She's been like this for days Rin. It's draining me up. I kinda regret telling her that she can call me anytime. You know, the other day, she called me up. At 4 in the morning. I had to drive over to her place in the wee hours in the morning just to accompany her. And a jug of coffee barely worked when I was at work that day. And... and the other day...." Kate complained until Rina stopped her.
"Honey, it's gonna be okay. Just go now. She'll get over it soon." Rina comforted Kate as she walked Kate to the door.

"She better be. I know I'm her sister and all, but she's 20. And I have my limits too." Kate said as she leaves.

Kate took a few steps and turned.

She said to Rina, "Oh, and Rin, the next time you tell somebody that they could call you anytime, remember to think twice."

Women?

Wesley was in the kitchen cooking when his house mate, Caleb walked in.

"Dude, I don't get it man. I dont understand." Caleb said as he poured himself a drink.

"Lemme guess, Tori?" Wesley said, his eyes fixed on the pan as his omelet began to cook.

"There! Even you could guess it. Man, you understand women. Help me out here." Caleb said.

"Since when?" Wesley asked.
"Since when what?" Caleb asked again.

"Since when do I understand women?" Wesley rephrased his question.

"You know, since you're so close to them. You could chat with them easily. You just have this erm gift with women." Caleb said.

"You make me look like some Casanova or something. I'm not. Look, I grew up with 2 sisters and no brothers. Its just natural for me to understand them, or at least a little about them. See, women are like a mystery, we, men are not meant to understand. You know, the Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars kinda thing." Wesley began his lecture as he scooped up his omelet and transferred it on his plate.

"I'm listening" Caleb said.

"We're not meant to understand them. Our job is to just go with the flow, give in." Wesley advised.

"But...." Caleb said.

"No buts. Just make her happy. You know, they said hell has no wrath like a woman scorned." Wesley interrupted.

"Scary." Caleb replied.

"I know. But what can we do, they're the so-called weaker gender. Look who's the bully now." Wesley said.

"I agree. Say, you know so much bout women, why dont you get one?" Caleb asked.

"Me? No, not now. Women, is like the last thing I wanna think about now. 2 sisters, a best GIRL friend and not to mention, my mum seems to be more than enough to handle for now."Wesley said.

"You and Kristy still in best friends relationship? I thought..."Caleb asked, sounding rather surprised.

"Dont even go there. We grew up together. She's practically my sister. Plus, she likes someone else." Wesley said.

"Or maybe, you do like her but you cant admit it?" Caleb said.

"No way." Wesley said.

"Or maybe? I dont know. I mean, she's nice and all, but she's like a sister to me. Plus, I dont wanna ruin what we have. Why risk a friendship?" Wesley thought to himself.

"Alright, whatever. Can I have some of those?" Caleb asked, looking at the half eaten omelet Wesley made.

Caleb just took the fork from Wesley's hand and grabbed a bite before walking out the door for his morning classes.

"HEY!" Wesley shouted at him as Caleb ran off.

Wesley just shook his head and grinned.

"Maybe Caleb was right." Wesley sighed.

what i'm surprised to find out...

2010-10-28T20:35:00.003+08:00

i've always thought that this blog is as dead as the oldest grave you could've imagine...

i've always thought that no one will ever come here...

out of sheer curiosity, i checked my stats to find surprising numbers my page view numbers...

people actually visit my blog???

seriously?

i'm happy in a good way...

so, whoever visited my blog before, do drop me a note in the shoutbox...

i'd really like to hear from you...

unless, those page views are actually myself signing in...

Wong Fu Ecomagination Video Challenge

2010-10-27T00:56:00.003+08:00

some videos produced by Wong Fu for the Ecomagination Video Challege

the promo

What the Flush?!

Water Ain't No Thang!

Lights Out!

Just a Nice Guy

2010-10-21T20:12:00.002+08:00

lately, i've been watching a lot of Wong Fu stuff...

and i wanted to watch this for a long time already but never could have find the time till now

i could totally relate to this short and its really meaningful

i wish girls could be more sensitive to us NGs...

i think i could classify myself as an NG (right?)

so, now, i'll share this with you guys...

to all the NGs in the world, our time will come

sigh sigh double sigh

2010-09-18T22:21:00.002+08:00

i went to the bank to deposit money a while ago...

and the money i owe myself made me think...

its so hard for me to repay the amount of money i took out from my account when i needed the money then...

it made me think that if i'm to deposit XX amount back, it'll take me weeks or months from my allowance for now...

this led me to think of the pay when i come out to work next time,

not to mention , when i work, thats the end of my allowance and also "free" petrol, i'll have to start paying my own petrol which meant 100 to 200 bucks of my monthly pay will go to petrol alone...

then, how about lunch... another let say 300 gone there a month...

SIGH SIGH DOUBLE SIGH, SIGH, MAKE IT TRIPLE...

and when my dad told us about our expenses, it makes me wonder if i can even make enough for the future...

i'm not too sure if i'll even be able to get married by the age of say 35...

if not, its either i dont have enough income or i'll be too busy working to even look for my soul mate...

SIGH!!!!

now i understand when people say school days are the best...

wait till i really experience it...

i'll never understand

2010-09-13T14:17:00.003+08:00

i'll never understand you smart people...

you're always with your books and just had to read and read and read...

it stresses you out and in turn, stresses us out too...

and you guys are so engrossed in your work that sometimes you could be really inconsiderate just cos you wanna finish up things fast to return to your books...

gosh! whats the big idea....

maybe cos i'm not you thats why i cant understand...

i cant concentrate on doing homework all the time for too long...

i cant do the extra for academics...

i'm just not cut out to study for long periods unless its in audio visual form...

i think i might have mild ADHD...

i have a short attention span...

so, i wont understand...

your mould is not my mould...

new eating menu...

2010-08-23T22:32:00.002+08:00

in an effort to lower my blood pressure, i've decided on the menu for this week...

but since i dont take breakfast, i'll just list down lunch and dinner...

Monday

lunch - cornflakes

dinner - cornflakes

Tuesday

lunch - plain soba noodles

dinner - oatmeal

Wednesday

lunch - plain soba noodle

dinner - oatmeal/cornflakes

Thursday

lunch - plain soba noodle

dinner - oatmeal

Friday - CHECKUP!!!! hope this helps me...

i'm sorry

2010-08-22T18:34:00.003+08:00

i'm sorry i've been acting weird lately

(some friends: really?! no la! you were fine)

but i was acting weirdly... you guys just didnt take the time to notice (cos you're too busy with your own lives that was shooting up while mine was going through a downward spiral)

(sorry, that only implied to some "friends")

so, yea...

i've been acting weirdly and i apologize for it...

i've been rather down lately...

been putting a lot of pressure on myself till i've come to terms with the fact that i'm actually stupid...

i cant do simple math equations that i could do in seconds last time... i just forgot how to do them already...

this took a toll on me as i've checked my blood pressure these days and found that its pretty high...

i feel so stupid now....

contemplated dying but what difference does it make....

if it does not make any difference whether i'm dead or alive, might as well live...

at least i'll still have a shot of going to heaven when i die (naturally)

exams are drawing near...

i STILL dont know what to do...

i STILL cant find my purpose in life...

i STILL dont know what's in store next...

i NEED GOD to tell me...

i NEED GOD to reaffirm me...

i NEED peace....

Found in You - Jesus Lifehouse Tokyo

2010-08-14T22:20:00.004+08:00

i had/been listening to this song for quite some time but now only i realized i wanted to share this to all of you...

so here it is, Found in You by Jesus Lifehouse Tokyo

The Lyrics

Found in You

救いの神様が

(sukui no kamisama ga)
変えてくれたよ　この人生を
(kae te kure ta yo kono jinsei o)

救いの十字架が
(sukui no juujika ga)
永遠の命　与えてくれる
(e i en no inochi atae te kureru)

捧げよう　すべて
(sasageyo subete)
あなたを愛してるから
(anata o aishiteru kara)
イエスだけが　満たす魂
(iesu dake ga mitasu tamashii)
歌おう　あなた讃えて　イエス
(utao anata tatae te iesu)

Salvation belongs to our God
Nothing else could ever change
My life the way You did
Salvation belongs to the cross
By the perfect blood You shed
I live eternally

My life is forfeit to You
'Cause I have fallen in love with the Saviour
Jesus alone can satisfy my soul
I'll sing Your praises forever Jesus

すべては　あなたの　中にある

(subete wa anata no naka ni aru)

All that I want,

All that I need

I found in You

(End)

All that I want

All that I need

I found in Your love

Below is a BM translated version that i did

Kes'lamatan hanya pada Tuhan

Tiada yang boleh ubah

Hidupku s'pertiMu

Kes'lamatan hanya pada kayu salib

Dengan darah sempurna

Kuhidup s'lamanya

Hidupku hanya untukMu

Karna ku cinta pada Penyelamat

Yesus saja sempurnakan hidupku

Kunyanyi pujian s'lamanya

Yesus

Semua ku mau, semua ku perlu ada pada Mu

Semua ku mau, semua ku perlu ada pada kasihMu.

if anyone wants the cords, pleases do tell me and i'll send them to you.

(^^)

Back with a Tag - You're my Angel

2010-08-10T20:50:00.002+08:00

RULES!!!!!!

1. Put your Music Player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW OUTRAGEOUS IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
You're not sorry.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
4 Minutes

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Shining

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
I Say a Little Prayer

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Change

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Don't Make Me Over

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
Imagine

WHAT IS 2+2?
Bust a Move

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Let's go Crazy (I like this one)

WHAT SONG WILL YOU PLAY WHEN YOU SLEEP?
Now or Never

WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN IT RAINS?
Ready N Go

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T SLEEP?
Wanna be like You

WHAT IS YOUR AMBITION?
Smile

WHAT WILL YOU SAY TO YOUR NEWLYWED?
Hate on Me (HAHAHAH!!!!)

WHEN YOU FART YOU SAY...
119

WHEN SOMEONE KICKS YOU; YOU SAY...
Hot Stuff

WHAT IS THE NUMBER AFTER 50?
Forever & Always

WHEN YOU WERE BORN, WHAT HAPPENED?
Love Revolution

WHAT WILL YOU SING ON YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY?
Dancing with Myself (So sad)

WHAT WILL BE YOUR WEDDING MARCH SONG?
a.ri.ga.tou.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS CALL YOU?
You're having my Baby (duh, I AM your baby)

YOU HATE IT WHEN...
Jin Gu Curse

YOU LOVE IT WHEN...
Please Don't Go

YOUR NEXT BF/GF WILL SING THIS SONG TO YOU AS A CONFESSION:
Express Yourself (I'll express my reaction then)

YOUR BEST FRIEND CONFESSES THAT HE/SHE LIKE YOU A LOT; YOU SAY...
Fire

WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOUR PET LICKS YOU?
You can't always get what you want (lick me all you want puppy, no extra food for you though)

WHEN YOU SEE THE JONAS BROTHERS, YOU WILL SAY...
Step on the Beat (cos i know you 3 can't... hahaha... with your skinny jeans, hmph)

WHEN YOUR FRIENDS SAY HI YOU [SAY]...
Crush

YOUR FRIENDS SAY YOU'RE WEIRD; YOU [SAY]...
Taking Chances (and see what being weird can bring me)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Defying Gravity (too awesome that she defies gravity)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Jie Guo Lie

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Keep holding on (to what?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Tattoo (wish she will be the tattoo to my heart)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
White Horse (hmmmm... neigh?)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Y,Why... (why am I dancing?)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Like a Virgin (i'll die before marriage?)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
We wanna Party!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
One Time

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Smile (HAHAHAHAHA!!!!)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Teardrops in the Rain (i'll die of crying in the rain?)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Rock It

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
One of a Kind

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
The Best Day (tears of joy)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Eclipse (huh? maybe it depends on the eclipse...)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Faithfully (scared of faithfully pursuing murderers)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Borderline (huh?)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Turn up the Music

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
To Sir with Love (that'll be gay)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
You're my Angel

Always the good friend material, never the boyfriend.

2010-08-09T22:14:00.002+08:00

Its weird, isn't it?

that being the nice guy, i've always been the good friend material but never the boyfriend material.

girls always find me the sensitive guy who looks after them like a good friend should.

they always ask me if i already have a girlfriend and when i say no, they wont believe me, saying someone as "good" as me, its impossible that i dont have a girlfriend.

and they'll say stuff like, whoever that can be my girlfriend is lucky...

flattering, but really?! do they need to do that? its not like it will boost my charisma or anything to get a girl... so......

why do they do that when they themselves should know why i dont have one...

heck, they are girls, they should understand the female mind more than i do...

i guess girls of this generation prefers dangerous badboys, the "Cool" punks or someone who can give them a secured future, thats why i guess the bad boys and the geniuses are the ones with the girls...

what can i provide for a girl is only emotional security. so, i guess thats why i cant get a girl... girls dont want that, thats what their other girl friends are for i guess...

they dont need guys to understand them (but they always complain when guys cant understand them)

they dont need guys to care for them (so-called independent women)

so... whatever for now i guess....

or, its cos God knows i'm too fragile to survive a breakup, so He will get me one when the time is right...hmmm....

(but you know, sometimes, i wanna make my own mistakes... weird, but true..)

lately

2010-08-07T15:12:00.005+08:00

So, the blog has been dead for what...2 months plus...

lotsa stuff had been happening lately...

the fact that i got to know i'm actually pretty dumb got me bummed...

i need to find stuff that i'm good at... something i feel special when i'm doing it...

and i guess maths and chemistry are not...

that day, i really felt like screaming my heart out and cry in school when i really forgot how to answer simple maths questions that i could do in the past...

and i still feel the sting till today...

gosh.... i'm sooooo stupid...

CHOU BAKA DESU!!!!

i've realised that the answer to my questions these times were all "I dont know".

they are the answers to what i want to do, what i'm good at, what should i do so on and so forth...

so, i need a new talent...

one that i can do awesomely but i guess power point is not it too....

its not something special...

all these times, i've been a jack of all trades but master of none...

what to do....

SIGH!!!

now, on the the brighter side...

Power Rangers will continue next year...

YAY!!!!

with the adaptation of one of the most awesome Sentai series that i've watched Samurai Sentai Shinkenger...

wonder how Saban would pull this one this time...

and as i was reading through the blogs, i've found out that they've confirmed the cast for the rangers... all six of them...

a good looking set of cast indeed for next year...

my first opinions of the cast based on their looks, cross-referencing with their Shinken counterpart.

Alex Heartman/Reese doesnt look very much like a lord as Tori was. He looks more like a rebel kinda person. But who knows, maybe Saban would pull some strings and deliver him well... He would look nice if he have some sort of friendly rivalry with Dillon (as they both have that brooding bad boy look ) if they will have a teamup with RPM which imo is highly unlikely.

Najee vs Aiba...... theres nothing much too say... I cant see Najee/Baron pulling a Ryunosuke. He doesnt look very versatile to do the over emotional part. His face just wont do it.

Hector vs Shogo... I think he's look can pull of as being a bit like Chiaki. He has the kinda look that suits the young rebel, i'm-so-different- than-everyone-else look. so, i can picture him doing a Chiaki.

Brittany vs Suzuka-chan... hmmm.... she cannot pull the innocent look but the country girl look, i think she can look the part and i think that her wardrobe will play a very big role in making her look a bit country.

Erika vs Rin... very different looks. Erika is more of the cute look but Rin has the more mature look. I can see Erika being a bit of a valley girl, ala Brenda Song/Wendy Wu kinda look but not too much... but that doesnt really suit the suited fight scenes as Mako's moves are a bit more graceful yet powerful. we'll see...

Last but not least, Steven vs Keisuke. definitely cant see any sign of Genta-ness in him... definitely cant be a sushi chef and dont see any humorous look out of Steven.

so, all i can say is, we'll just have to wait and see how things go with the new season of Power Rangers.

(disclaimer: i do not own the picture. it was taken from all over the internet... but i did the editing, so do credit if taken

25 WAYS 2 ANNOY UR PARENTS!!

2010-05-21T15:56:00.006+08:00

1.follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Run into walls.
6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"
8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder
9. Say all of the words in a film.
10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"
11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a яєтаяd!"
12. Talk to a pen.
13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
14. Try and climb the wall.
15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT $n0G YOU!!!"
16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"
18. Eat your hair.
19. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."
20. When you shower or bath yell"I'm drowning!!!!"
21. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"
22. Pretend to be a phone.
23. Try to swim in the floor.
24. Tap on their door all night...
25. pet your parents

him

2010-04-27T18:04:00.002+08:00

he's so darn stupid that calling him a moron would be an understatement...
besides being stupid, he's totally tad annoying and the truth is, people dont really like him...
he just get the "good" stuff cos no one wants to do the work...
he causes his parents to be upset by all the stupid things he does...
and the real truth is, he basically even HATES himself...

Updates (or not)

2010-03-21T21:31:00.005+08:00

hisashiburi minna!!!
been busy or rather lazy to update these few weeks...
so, i would like to share with y'all (anyone who reads my blog if any) my current song favorite...
this time, its a Chinese song entitled You are My Angel by Harry of Da Mouth.
Its really nice with an awesome, mellow tune which made me like it so much...
as i dont really understand Mandarin, i dont fully understand it (been looking for translations but found none... so, whoever is kind enough.....)
but once i watch the MV, its has a sad ending...
without further ado, here is You Are My Angel

the lyrics:

电话里的我是不是很蠢
dian hua li de wo shi bu shi hen chun
安慰你的话不知该怎么说
an wei ni de hua bu zhi gai zen yao shuo
他在你的心划了一道伤口
ta zai ni de xin hua le yi dao shang kou
拨开乌云朵飞来我的天空
bo kai wu yun duo fei lai wo de tian kong
软弱的双手换我来紧握
ruan ruo de shuang shou huan wo lai jin wo
听你的要求呵护你的感受
ting ni de yao qiu he hu ni de gan shou
安抚你的心缝合你的伤口
an fu ni de xin feng he ni de shang kou
用耳来倾听送你我的耳朵
yong er lai qing ting song ni wo de er duo

You Are My Angel
飞到我左右
fei dao wo zuo you
在你的宇宙每颗星都是我
zai ni de yu zhou mei ke xing du shi wo
You Are My Angel
陪伴我左右
pei ban wo zuo you
就算海角或陆地都沉没
jiu suan hai jiao huo lu di du chen mei
爱你到最后
ai ni dao zui hou

You Are My Angel
飞到我左右
fei dao wo zuo you
在你的宇宙每颗星都是我
zai ni de yu zhou mei ke xing du shi wo
You Are My Angel
陪伴我左右
pei ban wo zuo you
就算海角或陆地都沉没
jiu suan hai jiao huo lu di du chen mei
爱你到最后
ai ni dao zui hou

多希望倒转回到时空
duo xi wang dao zhuan hui dao shi kong
阻止你们相遇的时候
zu zhi ni men xiang yu de shi hou
带着你逃脱
dai zhao ni tao tuo
即使我 Look Like a Fool
ji shi wo Look Like a Fool
也许这么做你就不会难过
ye xu zhe yao zuo ni jiu bu hui nan guo

You Are My Angel
飞到我左右
fei dao wo zuo you
在你的宇宙每颗星都是我
zai ni de yu zhou mei ke xing du shi wo
You Are My Angel
陪伴我左右
pei ban wo zuo you
就算海角或陆地都沉没
jiu suan hai jiao huo lu di du chen mei
爱你到最后
ai ni dao zui hou

This is what Google Translation gave me (with few minor edits):

My phone is not stupid
If you do not know how comforting
In your heart, he has a wound classified
Sweep aside the dark clouds to my sky flying duo
Weak hands for me to seize the
Care of your request to listen to your feelings
To appease your heart sew your wounds
With the ears to listen to send you my ears

You Are My Angel
I flew around
Each of the universe you are my stars
You Are My Angel
To accompany me around
Even if Cape or land is sinking
I'll Love you until the end

You Are My Angel
I flew around
Each of the universe you are my stars
You Are My Angel
To accompany me around
Even if Cape or land is sinking
I'll Love you until the end

Want to reverse back over time and space
To stop when you encounter
Take you away
Even though I Look Like a Fool
Perhaps doing so you will not be sorry

You Are My Angel
I flew around
Each of the universe you are my stars
You Are My Angel
To accompany me around
Even if Cape or land is sinking
I'll Love you until the end

2 strangers + 1 umbrella (Part 1)

2010-02-11T22:02:00.005+08:00

It was 5.15pm, the streets are jammed with cars moving about, ranging from a Ferari to a mere local car. The sky looked beautiful with a shady blue complexion and hints of clouds.
It was in a bus stand. People were waiting for the bus or even a taxi. Some were sitting, some were standing.

A young man was walking slowly towards the bus stand, carrying a black little back pack. He was wearing a light blue shirt with black slacks and a plain white tie. His jacket is hanging on his bag. He stood in front of everyone, ignoring the shade that the roof provided.

Soon after, the bus stand began filling up with people from all walks of life. Some just came out from the comfort of their office while others are just waiting for their transport home. Then, a lady, in her 20's was walking towards the bus stand. She was wearing the typical office wear, white shirt and navy pencil skirt, a Louis Vuitton handbag in her right hand. By now, all spaces under the roof are all taken. So, she stood in front of the bus stand, waiting anxiously for the bus.

Suddenly, what was the last thing anyone would ever wish or at least those under the bus stand began to happen. The cloud began to gather and the sky began to cry.
"Oh no," the lady exclaimed, holding up her hand bag to cover herself from the rain.
The man who was mentioned earlier quickly turned to his back pack and pulled out a nice metallic blue umbrella, opened it up and found shelter for himself under the shadow of the umbrella. He looked at the girl. Nervously, he took a few steps towards her.
"Erm. Excuse me miss, would you like to share my umbrella? I have space." he asked, shyly, hoping she would take his sincere gesture of kindness and would not that he have a bad intention.

The lady looked at him and then turned her sights around.
"Th-thanks." she said and stepped under the umbrella.
After that, it was a quiet evening ahead.

Minutes later, the rain stopped.
"Thank you." the girl said.
"Its nothing. That's the least I could have done." the young man said with a smile.
The lady smiled back.
"Kara," she said, her hand reaching out for a handshake.
"Mack," the man replied, returning the handshake.
"That is a nice name. Mack." Kara said, repeating Mack's name.
"You too." Mack said.
From then on, the two chatted like they knew each other for ages.

Soon after, the bus arrived.
"Oh, thats my ride right there." Kara said.
She then took out her purse and took out a card.
"Here, here's my number. Maybe we could chat some other time." Kara said, handing Mack her business card.
"Kara Lee." Mack read the name written on the card.
"Thanks," he said.
He then took out his cellphone and dialed some numbers.
Kara's cellphone rang.
"And now you have mine." Mack said.
"Thanks. Alright. I have to go now." Kara said as she board the bus.
Mack waved goodbye to her as the bus left.

credit: picture is not mine, copyright infringement unintended. however, if the owner wants the picture down, i'll be happy to oblige...

You Belong With Me (Male Cover editted by Me)

2010-01-30T18:13:00.003+08:00

You're on the phone with your boyfriend, He's upset
He's going off about something that you said
He doesn't get your humour like I do

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music he doesnt like
And he'll never know your story like I do

But he wears jackets, I wear t-shirts
He's team captain and I'm in the chess club
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isnt this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since he brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a guy like that?

He drives sports cars, I drive vintage
He's team captain and I'm in the chess club
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Oh I remember you calling to my cell in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me

Blogging and Facebook course

2010-01-22T19:31:00.003+08:00

i think if i ever did a Blogging and Facebook course in school for teachers, a lot will turn up...
cos there are a few teachers who asked us about Facebook and Blogging,
how to do this, how to do that...
so if i do a one hour course, at least the teachers can learn something in return...
hahaha!!!
that'll be awesome!!!
chortle...
why some teachers are Facebooking and Blogging you may ask,
its cos they are now required to take ICT when they further their studies...
so, tomorrow, plans had been made for a one-on-one course with my bio teacher and me during bio time (since only 3 will be coming) for me to help her and also teacher her to do her blog... hehe

Gone but not Forgotten...

2010-01-19T00:50:00.002+08:00

To Uncle Suzannah aka BeautifulMan aka Jem

In a few hours, you'll be flying off eh...
I'm not sure if you will or ever read this but i guess I'll just write it up...
I'm not too good with goodbyes so I dont really know what to say (or write)...
just that, Thanks for being such a great person and a part of my life that i would not forget...
i never thought that you would be such a big part of my life when i first met you, but you did though not may not show...
i may not have that many memories with you but all i have to say is,
be safe, be well, eat fruit, and remember, YOUR FAMILY IS ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU...

have a safe flight and remember to FB us when you arrive okay...
sorry i can't go to the airport to send you off but well, safe flight...

and the stuff i gave you,
just wanna tell you this...
a collector never simply gives out stuff from their collection cos it will mean that their collection will be incomplete and usually, we do not replace our items with new ones...
so, the stuff i gave you actually means something okay...

Uncle Somehow

Ambassadors of CCOF?

2010-01-15T14:33:00.003+08:00

the screen cap below was taken from the website itself of CCOF,
the orphanage we went to for a Mission Trip (exposure) last year.
i was shocked (in a pleasant way) when i saw this... hehe
the link is here!!!

yes, thats my computer screen..
and no, i'm not using Vista...

Hisashiburi

2010-01-14T22:28:00.002+08:00

Ohisashiburi Minna!!!
how is everybody?
school has been so damn tiring and not to mention busy...
glad the week passed by fast this week...
tomorrow is already FRIDAY!
FRIDAY I TELL YA!!! whee!!! gotta love fridays...
TGI(almost)F!

some of y'all might have noticed that i put up a video on Big Bang's MV Lalalalala...
other than being one of my currently favorite songs, it was also cos i was teaching my teacher how to put in a youtube video into a blog...
shes continuing her studies into her Masters and one of the courses that she needs to take is ICT which requires her to use a blog (talk about awesomeness!!!)

so, leave me a comment on my "guest book"
c y'all later...

so,be safe, be well, eat fruits, and remember,
when in doubt, the answer is always C.
ttyl

Big Bang - Lalalala

2010-01-14T10:27:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-21T13:58:00.006+08:00

few more days to go and its gonna be CHRISTmas...

WHEEE!!!

2ne1 wishes you a Merry Christmas

Bleach too

Death Note too

Big Bang also, Tae Yang brought a present along

Tohoshinki as well

Chise Nakamura, Bouken Yellow too

the other yellow, Shinken Yellow, Suzuka Morita too

For you girls out there, Lee Min Ho brought your present too (covers ears)

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
('.^)V

Rethinking Migration

2009-12-07T20:11:00.003+08:00

some of you might have known that if given the chance, I would like to migrate to another country...
but now, i'm having doubts and was( and still am) rethinking on this subject...
it all started when i had a dream during my afternoon nap this afternoon.
it went like this:

i now migrated to a new place (like China or Japan)
i was studying there.
then, after school, my friends and i decided to stop by a stall to have a snack...
it said Malaysian food.
weirdly though, its not really Malaysian food.
its like wide hor fun wrapped around some fillings with curry...
(maybe kinda like on sun fun with curry, the one i like to eat in the shop near ROC)
when i bit it, i began to cry and remember Malaysia...
WEIRD!!!

so now i think...
every place has its flaw...
like in my case, being a so-called second class citizen, i am deprived of many advantages in academic and positions and even politics...
however, if i work hard enough, these things wont affect me, i think...
Malaysia is still my home (i know i know... i'm supposed to say Heaven is my home, but lets talk Earth now please)

Meet Me Alter Egos

2009-11-15T22:39:00.002+08:00

if you haven't already know, I am crazy
and crazy people have alter egos...LOL...
just kidding...
so, i'm here to introduce you to my alter egos...

Jared
the real person, quiet and soft-spoken,
a gentleman in the making, the overall good guy

Kacey
the outgoing, spontaneous, fun-loving guy who's loud and hyperactive
everything he does, he does them in STYLE

Daiki
the smart genius who hails from Japan and speaks random Japanese phrases

Boom a.k.a Captain Lollipop Sweettooth
the latest addition. he thinks he is the long lost brother of Willie Wonka and has a knack for chocolates and lollipops

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!

2009-11-02T14:40:00.003+08:00

hey guys....
sorry for not updating in a while...
(not like anyone reads anyway... so sad)
was busy for exams....
its now OVER!!!! YAY!!!!

can you believe it...
my way of de-stressing these few days are by watching movies...
LOL...
torrent-ing a lot lately...
watched:
I Love You, Beth Cooper
I Love You, Man
The Ugly Truth
The Proposal

now, i'm downloading P.S I Love You...

gonna sleep now while i download...

btw, in case you're wondering (which i doubt)
exams was tough..
they dont call STPM the 3rd hardest exam in the world for nothing...

skipping school tomorrow...
shhhh... dont tell anyone...
the whole class decided to skip school tomorrow cos the exams are over but the next class still has exams...
its no fun sitting around quietly....

Its settled!!!

2009-09-23T12:03:00.004+08:00

nothing really big or anything...
its just that, i've been thinking of how to put my Japanese name...
but now its settled...
my japanese name will be now confirmed as Ha Daiki (葉　大輝）
thats

葉　大輝

葉 means leaf which in actuality, is indeed my Chinese surname (Yap 叶）
大　means large or big
輝　is actually from kagayaki 輝き without the last part which meant radiance.

so, my japanese name means Large Radiance and the surname is well, leaf...
hehe...

Boku wa Ha Daiki desu. Midori ha no Ha, dai chuu sou no Dai, kagayaki no Ki.

Outing with my Friends again...

2009-09-22T07:57:00.002+08:00

yup, i went outing with my friends again yesterday...
went downtown KL...
it was okay...

when we reached Times Square, we went for a movie entitled "Where got ghost?"
a Singaporean movie...
its actually more of a comedy than a horror movie, so it was okay with me i guess...

next, we went Roller Skating in Sungei Wang,
it was my first time...
really scary at first though...
but the people there were quite helpful...
gave me some tips...
i managed to go 2 rounds round the ring...
of course i fell...
lotsa times...
hurt my butt and also my front....
i think this is the first time i fell so many times in an hour or two...
OUCH!!! ITTAI!!!!

Then, some of us went bowling...
i was not really up to it...
so i went walking around...
after that, we met up again...

after that, we went to the arcade...
played some games...
LOL

soon after, we decided to head home...
we waited for the monorail but decided to take the next one as the one that arrived first was so full...
the second one was rather okay...

but the next train back was a disaster...
well, not really a disaster...
it was like in a sardine can...
so full of people that i cant move...
and worse...
it was already full but when we reach the KL station, people kept forcing in...
it was ALREADY FULL!!!!
these people have no brains ka....

reached back at the station,
send the guys home,
went home...
had a headache cos of the smoke everywhere...
(i guess i'm allergic t second-hand smoke...cant stand it)
actually my friend invited me to her house today for celebration
but when i asked for permission from my mum, i got a lecture instead....
sigh...

blablabla...

Hitting the Reset button

2009-09-13T20:18:00.005+08:00

actually, there are some stuff that i'm going to share now but i don't know what to write for the title of this post...
this is going to be a Christian post, so if you don't wanna read this, then fine by me but you wont know what your missing, so i do hope that you'll continue reading this...

I remembered one day, while driving to school, i had a sudden feeling of MAYBE God spoke something to me, which i dont know if it really is God or my own feelings. If it is God speaking, GREAT!!!
He said, "Do not run away from me when you fall, but because you fell, it is more that you should run towards Me."
then, i began to wonder, with all the sins that i struggle daily in my life, i was somewhat overwhelmed with guilt to even ask God for forgiveness, knowing full well that i had been taking His grace for granted over and over again for so many times, and i somehow know that there is a big possibility for me to fall again and the situation will be the same all over again. So, i knide brush this prodding aside and continued on with my life, as it is (i'm not that goody goody, please be informed first, if there is someone who ask "Who needs God?", i'll be the first to raise my hand)
BUT, i never did forget this prod, (hmmm... now i wonder, if it is my own feeling, i might forget, but if it's God, i won't forget this easily right... so i do believe that this is indeed from God)
and today, Unc Poh Leong was teaching about loss of salvation...
am i really lost for good, i did wondered throughout the class...
but he did say something that if you still feel the prodding, you still have hope.
so, I thank God for the prodding that I still have...

another thing that i've been keeping at heart these few days is the verse Proverbs 3:5-6 which said "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight"
you wanna know where i got this verse? of all places, got it from Facebook's application (not kidding). i used to just go "meh, just another application" but then again, in the previous Bible Class, Unc Poh Leong asked if we had any personal Bible verse, i know i did not.
so, i began to adopt this verse in my life, i'm gonna trust God.
this morning, while worshiping, i asked God to help me trust Him, to fallback when He says fallback without worrying bout hurting my back (go watch in Youtube, OneTimeBlind's Trust Fall to understand) and immediatedly, the "test" came when it's offering time.
i opened my wallet and was surprised to find only one RM1 note and one RM10 note (so i had only RM11). I was contemplating on which to give (i was going out after church, so i might spend)...suddenly, a sudden feeling struck me that went like "Do you trust me?"
I was like, "erm........... (long pause) fine, i do" i said and pulled the RM10 instead of the RM1.
after offering, i had a funny feeling (the not so good feeling)...
so i questioned God, "God, why am I having this feeling when i have already put in the money. What's the matter this time?" and it hit me that i put the RM10 not really to trust God but merely just making a decision that seemed right and was thinking about it even after giving, it seemed unwilling.
So, I asked God for forgiveness and willingly release the money for God's purpose and the feeling left.

Bottom line is that, God do speak to us at times though we might feel that it's just a feeling. Buf feelings in the form of words don't come suddenly. If it does, check your heart, your Bible or with another senior Christian to confirm.

so, what is it about hitting the reset button?
the truth is, i left devotion lying about for quite some time now, even not doing SOAP nowadays.
i finally decided to restart this area but i was kinda worried cos i though that i have not receive my devotion book which was sent to my old address.
so, doubtful that i would find it, i looked through the place i usually put the envelope (they sent the book a month early and when my mum goes back to the old place, she would get the mail), it was there...
i was happy a bit.
then, i realised something, it was not opened...
a feeling of guilt, shame and unhappiness suddenly took over the joy of finding it as i was ashamed of myself for not bothering to open to have a look like i always did last time when got the book.
so, i opened it and the book felt new again.
so now, i'm going to restart and reset my life.

hope this post blessed someone who reads it...
and remember, God do speak even when you think you are too far...
He longs for your return.
"My child, you're never too late to return to my arms"

Flame of the Forest (Delonix regia)

2009-09-08T19:39:00.004+08:00

I've searched through the web for a picture of the cross section of the Delonix regia (Flame of the Forest) flower but came to no avail.
Therefore, my friends and I had to go to town to get the flower (which the tree is very tall btw)
Location: in front of Istana Budaya, Kuala Lumpur
Permission was granted by the guard
So, here are a few of the pics.
Some were not taken by me, so, credit to those whom they belong to.

Not mine:

Mine:

Look how tall the tree is. I had to zoom it to the max to get this shot.

if you find these helpful, please leave a comment in the comment box and please do no flood my chatbox... Thank You.

The first time......

2009-08-27T00:05:00.002+08:00

i guess there's a first time for everything...
and this is regarding my car okay...
not anything else...

yesterday, i got stuck in my first real major traffic jam...
my sis needed Parmesan cheese and there are no stores that sell them nearby...
so, i drove to NSK, towards Rawang,
kinda knowing what I'll face, looking at the time, I went anyway...
on the way there, I've already saw the massiveness of the jam yet there are no U-turns...
so i guess i'll have to brace through it later...
went to NSK, got the stuff and got ready for the jam...
I think it lasted for about 45 minutes....

today...
my car wont start..
i mean, i sent jeremy for tuition...
waited there for him for 1 and a half hours where I parked a distance away (off-ed the car that time)
when the time arrived, I started my engine and drove over.
parked there waiting (waited for quite some time)
i saw steam started coming out from the car, so i off-ed the engine...
when jeremy arrived, i tried to start my engine...
IT WONT START...
i was really frustrated man...
called dad who is now still in Bangkok with mum...
pushed the car to a proper parking and waited there for my sis to arrive...
tried starting the car from time to time but it just wont start...
worse part is, its almost 10 and the mechanics are all closed...
when my sis arrive, we tried pouring water into the radiator...
tried atarting the engine again but it wont start...
sigh...
we had to leave the car there overnight...
pray that the car will be safe...

guess there's a first time for every bad thing...
sigh...

just one thing I hope never to have a first time concerning my car...
an accident...
i would totally hate that....

Its Too Early for This...

2009-08-16T22:00:00.004+08:00

I know its too early for this but I'm ADDICTED TO CHRISTMAS SONGS...
particularly 2 songs by Plus One entitled 'This is Christmas' and 'I Won't Forget This Christmas'
they're pretty nice and fresh (for me)...
here are the lyrics...
(look up the songs online, maybe youtube has them)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is Christmas

They wished upon a star
Three wise men traveled far to see
A babe who was born to be King
The dream in heaven’s dreams
That made the prophets’ words complete
And the angels begin to sing

They looked to the sky
Followed the light
Love’s greatest gift
Had come to us that night

Chorus
Can you feel the spirit in the air
Giving hope to people everywhere
Celebrate our Savior’s here
This is Christmas
Hallelujahs echoing tonight
Now everything will be alright
Celebrate our Savior’s here
This is Christmas

I know we’ve seen some times
When joy has been so hard to find
And life seems to take more than faith
But we dreaming heaven’s dream
And finding hope within our hearts
To believe that there’s more than we see

We looked to the sky
Followed the light
Love’s greatest gift
Has come again tonight

repeat Chorus

Bridge
There’s no greater gift
Than the life that you gave
All the hatred
Rearrange it
Spread all the love
Spread all the love (the love, the love, the love)

repeat Chorus 3x
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Won't Forget This Christmas

What if there was no manger
No wise men
No Savior
Just another day
In December

I’d be hopeless
Oh so hopeless
But on that day
With the Angels
Watching
Creation waiting
He came as a baby
And like an echo
Across the world
A cry was heard
And changed everything

Chorus
So I won’t forget this Christmas
That I am nothing without you
You are the star
That guides my heart
I won’t forget (I won’t forget)
This Christmas

Should I get distracted
Bring me back to
What matters
All the presents they
They will fade away
You are forever
Oh you’re forever
‘Cause nothing compares
To the gift you gave
My life you saved
And so I promise you

repeat Chorus

Bridge
La la la la
I will not forget
La la la la
What you did
‘Cause you are the life and
The breath
The reason I exist
You know I won’t forget

repeat Chorus 2x
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Re-caught the Passion

2009-08-06T07:45:00.002+08:00

just came back from camp last Sunday...
but i didn't really have time to update my blog...
just only found time (and mood) in the most unlikely of places...
in school biology lab...

FGA KD Family Camp 2009 was AMAZING!!!
really re-caught the passion that I once had...
to be honest, i was not really sure if I had the passion a few weeks ago...
I might think its there but i might be pretending...
i was uncertain...
but during the camp, I let it all out...
let God take control...
i was finally really able to feel the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues...
and I believe that God really spoke to me through Pastor Bernard...
and I think I did felt God's will for my myself...
I now have a passion (or two)...
but I won't tell it here...
i'll only tell if you ask...
hehe (^.^)

the Youths who are going to Chiang Mai for Missions end of this year had a prayer session the last night...
the brainstorming session quickly turned H2H (heart to heart) as Peter felt that there is something stopping us from going forward...
but the things are private and would not be discussed in this blog...
we felt closer to each other...
and guess what, it lasted till 3.30 am...
by the end of it, we were all soooo sleepy and tired...

what i enjoyed most is the photo and posing sessions of the youth group...
we were sooooo vain...
LOL (^o^)
i love this picture most (cos i suggested the pose)
LOL (^o^)

Aizawa Rina's birthday was yesterday!!!

2009-07-29T21:39:00.004+08:00

Aizawa Rina's birthday was yesterday...
i didnt really remember that...
oh my...
HONTO NI GOMENASAI, RINA-CHAN...
TANJOUBI OMEDATOU, KAWAII RINA_CHAN!!!!

for those of you who don't know who Rina is, she plays Rouyama Saki/Go-On Yellow in Engine Sentai Go-Onger last year and she is my first Japanese and better, Asian celebrity crush...hehe... (^.^)

Smile Mankai, Go-On Yellow!! -(^u^) -V,,

sorry for the few minutes of fanboy moment...lol...
not only girls do it you know...

it was a lite day

2009-07-28T14:48:00.003+08:00

it was a light day today...
really really light day in school...
however, i woke up at 4 to do some reports...
alright, back to the topic...
we had a very light day in school today (alter ego: enough already with the light day!!!! [VnV] )

for general paper today, we just learned what they question and the rules when answering paper 2... Mr.Ravi gave the questions and sample answers... we just copied down.

then it was Bio...
we were to do dichotomus key today...
but the results are all given in the student manual already...
i've already answered to questions at home.
Pn.Yus just check it and can pass up already.
and since we had 3 periods and most of the work is done and not to mention, WIRELESS REACHES THE BIO LAB!!!
we just surfed the net for some bio and personal stuff...
hehe...
thank God I brought my lappy...
hehe...

then it was break time...

then, Muet 1...
Pn.Zarina just made us do some personality test and brain stuff...
didn't really study...
hehe

then, Muet 2...
we were so lazy...
Pn.Haslina also said she had some work to do...
she gave us some homework and said we can do our own stuff (but homework must pass up next week)
so, again i brought out lappy but there is no wireless connection in class... sigh...
so, Aaron, Eugene and I played Prototype in my lappy....
it was FUN!!!!
we played till go back and today, we decided not to stay back (hush, dont tell teacher)

so it was a LIGHT day...
hehe...
but as i've mentioned, i woke up at 4, so now i'm a bit tired...
so, off to take a nap now...
(_ _)zzzz....

Fedora Frenzy

2009-07-19T23:36:00.003+08:00

hehe...
today my brother borrowed a fedora from my sis...
after church, he was playing and wearing it....
but my dad said he doesn't look good with hats...
so i took the fedora and put it on....
LOVE IT!!!
then i asked my parents...
they said i look nice with it...
hehe...
so now, i'm kinda having FEDORA FRENZY....
hehe...
we went out to OU just now and i wore the fedora...
hehe...

sigh

2009-07-06T20:08:00.001+08:00

starting tomorrow, school will end at 3.30 for us Form 6 from Monday to Thursdays...
sigh...

so bored of school, wish i could just finish it quick...

I think I'm changing, and i don't know why...

2009-07-01T19:16:00.002+08:00

these few days, i've not been really behaving like myself...
i've turned from the quiet guy next door, to the loud and funny person...
i tend to have weird accents on purpose and do stuff i don't usually do like.... (dunno)
its starting to scare me a bit...
what if i lose myself???
but then again...
this is who i was, back when i was in Selayang, back when I was happy...
so now i wonder...
if its a good thing or a bad thing....
hmmmmmm.....

Aquan Cruiser, Online!

2009-06-27T21:50:00.003+08:00

for those of you who still don't know Aquan Cruiser, it is my car...
hahaha...
yep, i named it Aquan Cruiser...
cool name huh... (by now i guess you guys should be thinking i'm weird and probably crazy...haha)

well, today, i drove to school (yea, school on a saturday...ugh) alone...
hehe...
was a bit nervous, not a lot...
just a bit...
but i arrived safely in school...
HAHA!!!
parked under a shady tree...
hehe...

school was a bit dull today...
only the guys turned up.
7 of us to be exact...
haha...
only learned Bio...
after that, we had to paint the stuff for the Carnival promotion this Monday...

if you guys wanna come, its
In: SMK Taman Desa, Bandar Country Homes, Rawang
Date: 4th July
Time: 8.30am to 3.30pm
Whats there: games, food, drinks...

after the bell rang, we went out of the school.
Chee Yong was supposed to follow me home but he also wanted to have lunch with Tham and Zax first...
so we went together, 4 of us, in my CAR!!!
YAY!!!
was good, didn't mati engine...
haha...
had lunch and Chee Yong and I went back where i sent him home and went home and later went to YC where we had PPW (prayer, praise, worship)

it was good ( i think)...
after that, we played some games where i laughed my stomach off...
haha... it hurts...
hahahaha!!!!

dad then picked s up and had Burger King...YUMMY!!!
the smell of the beef patty is still there when i burp...
haha...

Tagged again by Alyssa, Jeremy and maybe more

2009-06-20T11:11:00.002+08:00

1. Besides your lips, where is the favourite spot to get kissed?
lips are great but hmmm cheecks are good too i guess...

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
can i turn in today....

3. Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?
hmmmm.... my sis i guess....

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
hmmmm most probably not...

5. Will you ever donate blood?
when the time comes

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
a? talk about 2 - 5

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
hmmmm... how bout that.... well nobody exactly...hahaha

8. What does your last text message say?
Service Provider: Configuration messae blablabla

9. What are you thinking right now?
hmmmmm... nothing actually

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
not really...

11. What time did you go to bed last night?
1 something

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
Fila somewhere....

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
God

14. Who was the last person who text you?
Maxis

10 special people to do this quiz…
1. Daphne Yap
2. Zhafarina
3. Alif Affandi
4. Rvie
5. Lynn
6. Fairuz
7. Jem Duke
8. Matt Soh
9. Yuki Poon
10. Carissa Morias

15. Who is no. 2 (Zhafarina) having a relationship with?
don't know... most probably (dreaming of) Daniel Wu

16. Is no. 3 (Alif) male or a female?
Definitely male (i think...haha...kidding)

17. If no. 7 (Jem Duke) and and no. 1 (Daphne) get together, would it be a good?
NO WAY!!!!

18. What is no. 1 (Daphne) studying about?
studying bout hmmmm Korean stuff, in particularly DBSK

19. When was the last time you chatted with no. 3 (Alif)?
hmmmm few weeks back...

20. Is no. 4 (Rvie) single?
i think not...

21. Say something about no. 2 (Zhafa)
Loud but cool...

22. What do you think about no. 10 (Carissa) and no. 6 (Fairuz) being together?
they dont even know each other....

23. Describe no. 9 (Yuki)
Cool and fun gal... one of the best colleagues and friend i've worked with...

24. What will you do if no. 5 (Lynn) and no. 7 (Jem Duke) fight?
one, they dont even know each other
two, would Jem go all the way to S'pore or Lynn come to M'sia just to fight???

25. Do you like 8 (Matt)?
hmmmm.... long time didnt contact him ady...

Old New Stock of toys

2009-06-08T15:45:00.003+08:00

on friday i went to Cineleisure to have dinner with my family...
we had Bubba Gum again...
AWESOME FOOD!!!!
LOVE IT!!!!
to all of you out there reading (if there is), you guys should try it... but its a bit costly though...
but the portion is like big...
i was stuffed...

back to the title....
i went to Toyz and Hobby just for a shot as they had said before that they aren't gonna restock sentai stuff cos they're not selling well in Malaysia...
but still...
it became a habit to me that every time i went to Cineleisure, I just had to go in there...
haha...
and to my awesome surprise, they have well...
old "new" stock...
there's some sentai stuff and the best thing is, they're on sale!!!
YAY!!! 50% off on most items...
and i bought the Deka Robo Gattai Series set...
for those of you who might not understand, Deka is the short or term used in one of the sentai season named Dekaranger, based on police force...
Robo is well... robot...
Gattai is combination...
i love gattai series cos i can buy some seperately and combine them...
cool eh...
well, i do have some photos cos my friend from Philliphines wanted to see them...hehe...
here's to you Doom (real name unknown)

and there as well, i saw another cool toy from another season
but i didnt carry enough money to get it...
they are the Geki Shark and Geki Wolf...
its rather expensive...
70 something after discount and 100 over before discount...
will get it next time...

not been updating, so here's whats up

2009-06-03T17:17:00.003+08:00

>lets start with my birthday part 2...
we went to the office to meet with dad in the evening.
then, we went to eat in this place called Pasta Zenmai which is like so cool for me cos they fuse Japanese and Italian food, two of my favorite food other that local foods...
hehe...
the food was soooo nice, it made me so full...
haha....
then, cos dad needs to work, we parted ways...
my siblings and i decided to catch a movie in Cineleisure, so we went there.
first we went to Ikano's Popular cos i need to get books and supplies for school...
while they get the tickets, i went to get some stuff...
i went and bought some ranger figurines to complete my Operation Overdrive/Boukenger collection...
haha....
then i went and bought chalk for the class as we do have a portion of the board as a blackboard but i the school uses markers already.
i then went and look and found a bag for going out....
i dont want a bag too big but also not too small...
i found a nice one which is orange in color...haha
in a way its kinda not me, but me as well cos i usually dont go for bright colors but orange is one of my favorite color (the fourth actually)...
i then met up with them and we put our stuff in the car...
the books were heavy...haha
then we went for the movie...
Night in the Museum 2....
awesome movie...
haha...
very funny and entertaining...
after the movie. we headed home.

> my sis had been saying that i blog bout everything except for my car...
well, if you guys haven't already know, my parents bought a car for me for my birthday...
before you guys think i'm rich, dont.
its a second-hand old car...
an old Proton Saga...
but its Blue in color, so its cool...
haha...
the insurance stuff finally went on well and now my car is in my uncle's workshop for checking cos my parents want it to be good for driving, not to mention safe...
i've driven it to practice around the housing area...
i'm getting the hang of it.
cant wait for it to return...
have i told you how old it is...
no?
haha...
older than me...
its bout 20 years old....
and the nick name i've put for it is Aquan Cruiser...
haha...

> its the school holidays now and i do have homework...
but sad to say, i havent started on them yet...
i have maths to do and Bio and Chemistry to read up...
i know i have more than a week more of holiday but how if i cant catch up...
determination, where are you now...i need you...
laziness and procrastination, please go away....

> as i am going to Chiang Mai this December for mission trip, i had to got make my passport...
just did it yesterday....
they were really fast...
haha...
i remember last time, we had to wait for like half a day to get it done but now, its done in about less than 2 hours.
hehe... and since the place to renew my i.c, i renewed it too...
saved a trip...

>the air con man came today...
no my room have an air con...
so cool!!!!

thats about it....
till then...

Wish came true...haha

2009-05-22T14:15:00.002+08:00

what i thought to be an uneventful birthday (like every other year when my birthday were either filled with holidays or everyone seemed to be busy) turned out to be nice...
few weeks ago, i posted on my shoutout that i wished to feel special again...
and i guess i got my wish today.

i woke up in the morning and found 3 messages on my cell wishing me my b'day from Alyssa, JinYin and Kimberly. (thanks girls).

after shower, i got a message from Fiza, a friend i made this year which i didnt get to know in Tasik Puteri although we went there last year but we got close this year during Form 6 orientation. We Tasik people had to stick together....haha...

then, Phoebe (Arrifah) called all the way from her matrics place to wish me a happy b'day.
we chatted for a while before i head to school.

then i headed on to school.
on the way, i got a message from Daniel Martin, wishing me a blessed birthday.
hehe...

and so i reached school and thought of waiting for the others.
but they were not around.
i felt odd cos usually they are earlier than me.
so i headed to class and saw them hanging around the side walk of the second floor.
i gave a wave and headed up.
as soon as i reached there, they started singing Happy Birthday.
i felt special (wish was my wish...haha)...
i thanked them a lot...
thanks Vishnu, Fiza, and 2 other girls whom i dont really know, sorry
HONTO NO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!!!!
then, Aaron wished me in a weird way...
it was something like "Happy something something anniversary"
i just laughed and thanked him...
haha...
guess the noise was out...
haha...
Tham (weirdly enough) approached me and wished me but then he got on to his real business and asked me to name my assistant for the Cleanliness Officer post...haha...
then, Kouse arrived...
together with the others from Tasik Puteri, she handed me my first present of the day...
it was a big wrapped up present and a note...
hehe...
THANKS!!!!
HONTO NI ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!!!

then the day went on as usual...
blablabla...

i got a message from Josiah wishing me too...
then, going back, Kouse's dad picked us up and uncle wished me too...
haha...

back home, when i opened the door, my brother who was lying on the floor and my sister sang me a birthday song, just that one is in english and the other in korean...
take a wild guess... its too easy...
hehe...
i then opened my email to discover a mail all the way from Canada by Rvie (a friend i met in a power rangers forum)...
it was a flash card...
hehe...
i turned to my blog and found my sis' wishing me too...
and as i turned on my messenger, Zhaf wished me...
and i just got a Myspace message from Aress wishing me too...
THANKS Y'ALL!!!
y'all really made my day and its not even 3 yet...

Form 6 Orientation Week

2009-05-16T00:31:00.002+08:00

this week was the orientation week for form 6.
i got to know that i'm in the school's pioneer form 6 batch...
so, there are no seniors...
in a way, its good cos we do not need to worry about senior bullies...
haha...
its kinda bad cos we cant really get guidance from seniors...

we did quite a number of stuff this week...
one of them are personality quizzes...
we did two quizzes...
the first one is the Self-Directed Search (SDS) which my results are Investigative, Social, and Artistic...
kinda true...haha
the other test is Inventori Personaliti Warna (IPW) [Colour Personality Inventory] where i got a strong Gold (responsibility & rules) and Blue (love & care)...
true too...
hehe....
we also did a roleplay for job interviews where i was the one that got interviewed....
my response was (IMO) quick, sharp, and details...
i even got cheers...
hehehehe...

next monday will be the Teachers' Day celebration in school...
the form 6 students were asked to do a performance and we will be doing a song...
guess what, i got a solo part where i have to rap and do some singing...
coolie!!!

"Its a B to the E to the LIA
Lets keep our heads up for better days
Do walk hand in hand if you understand
The message is to be together in this motherland.

Where's the love that used to shine.
In this darkest hour we're gonna be just fine..."

today, i also went to Rawang to collect some more pay for the extra work i did while working...
hehe...
didnt expect that much actually but i cant tell how much...
hehe...

so next week will be the beginning of the real form 6...
hope i'll build a good rep again in this place...
wish me the best...
i hope to get a position in the 6th Form Council...
it'll be cool...

Bye Bye Bangs

2009-05-10T20:37:00.002+08:00

tomorrow, i'll go back to school to continue my studies in form 6...
what a shock when i found out it was just next week...
left my job by the end of April, my dad asked to finish up some work in the office and the days i was not in the office, i had to take care of some stuff for form 6...
i didnt get to rest and tomorrow i'm going back to school...
sigh....

so i also had my haircut today...
bye bye man bangs that i had after schooling in form 5 and goodbye to my side burns too...
we'll meet again next year after i finish my form 6...

awaiting to see whats in stall tomorrow...
hopefully i'll find more friendly faces than i did in form 5...

Personality Test Night!!! And the results are >>>

2009-04-26T00:59:00.004+08:00

Which Heroes Character Are You?

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near the end

2009-04-26T00:01:00.002+08:00

so next tuesday is gonna be my last day in Perfection Training Academy (no, again, im not a tutor, just a normal staff)
kinda having mixed emotions bout it...
one side, i think i'm gonna miss earning...
haha...
who doesn't
when you dont need to save up for months just to get something cos when you earn, you can get it by the end of the month or the first week of the next month...
haha...

but another side of me kinda felt at ease finally getting out of there...
cos i think when you've been dealing with some people and facing them everytime you're there kinda annoys you...
i'm not really gonna talk bout him...
all in all is, he turned into a jerk and i dont know why only i got the cold treatment...
but i guess i dont care anymore...
dont need to look at him...
MUAHAHAHA!!!!

so, May is my so-called rest month until further notice on further studies...
but i dunno la...
if i feel maybe i wanna work with my dad for the month...
not too sure yet...
actually i think i could cos there are some more pictures to be scanned (2+ more boxes to be scanned to be exact)
we'll just see how...

till then, mata ne!

plans crashed...

2009-04-17T01:06:00.003+08:00

i guess all my plans are crashing down now
all cos i didnt get into matriculation...
i just checked a few minutes ago...
i really didnt get in...
now i'm sad and lost cos all my plans revolved around going to matrics, not form 6...
now i have to hope that the rayuan is accepted...

Japanese Snack Fair

2009-04-16T23:35:00.002+08:00

today we went to Ikano for Sushi King Dinner...
hehe...
but i'm not really gonna blog bout that.
nearby is a Japanese Snack fair...
it was kinda cool but i didnt get to buy too many stuff cos i don't wanna waste too much money...
hehe...
but then i saw something soooo cool (at least for me)
ENGINE SENTAI GO-ONGER........CURRY!!!
LOLZ....
funny huh...
but i bought it...

and also, i bought Pocky Men's
lolz...
cool huh...

thats cos i saw this commercial that was starred by one of the actors of Hana Kimi Japan

YATTA!!!!

2009-04-07T20:10:00.002+08:00

the famous Heroes phrase from Hiro Nakamura which means "I DID IT!!!"
today was my driving test and i passed both the test.
we have 2 tests.
on the road and track test.

i did my track test first.
the track consist of the hill, side parking, and three point turn.
i aced it all with just one shot...
yay!!!
thank God for helping me...
hehe...

and next was the on-the-road test.
passing mark was 16/20
i passed with a 17/20...
not too bad, not too good either.
just enough.
but as long i passed, good enough...
hehe...

the waiting line was really a nightmare.
but mine was good.
hehe...
cos they broke us into two groups first.
my number is 51 so i was in group 2.
as soon as i'm done with the track, i went for the on-the-road test and guess what.
its number 45 of the first group,
the tester called out 5 following numbers and guess what, i'm in.
lolz...
it didnt even have to wait for 5 minutes for my name to be called.
hehe...
but then, i had to wait for the other 4 before i can go.
hehe...
but it was ok.
as long as i know my number is almost there and i dont have to wait too long, i'm happy.
hehe...
some that did earlier than me had to wait like for hours till their turn for the second part...
poor them...

after passing, i had to wait for dunno what
the wait was sooooo long...
the joy finally tuned down.
lolz...
i came back, shower, ate a bit and slept...
now, after i woke up, i blog...
hehe...

Plus One - Tonight

2009-04-04T14:51:00.005+08:00

i've been listening to this song over and over again cos i just NEED GOD to take over...
the chorus is really good especially the last 2 lines of the chorus

-> I am broken
-> But that's just your type

i'm in the process if breaking as life just seems to get to me a lot these days.
gotta leave old self behind.
another part i like is the second pre-chorus

-> But today and every single day
->Just cripple both my legs
->These hands don't work
->But yours will do just fine

its somehow a hidden meaning and i think the meaning to it is
"God, just take over. I can't go on by myself"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to walk down 3rd street slow
Drive up and down the coast
Watching the sunset hang
While God puts on his show
I want a life outside my own
A stranger that everybody knows
I want to kill the ghost that haunts me as I grow

But today and every single day
Just covers up my face
The earth is dark but
I can see the sky

[Chorus]
Tonight I'll leave myself behind
And run into the light
I am broken
But that's just your type

I want to trade this tongue for ears
Make failure disappear
I want the confidence that doesn't lean on cheers
I want to plant the golden seed
Beside a sparkling sea
Working my way up high in a deeply rooted tree

But today and every single day
Just cripples both my legs
The hands don't work
But yours will do just fine

[Chorus]
But tonight I'll leave myself behind
And run into the light
I am broken
But that's just your type

Shine your light
Let me see tonight
Shine your light
Put your heart in mine
Cut the cord from this empty life
Cut the cord leave it all behind [2x]

[Chorus]
But tonight
I'll leave myself behind
I am broken but that's just your type

i think i have a syndrome...

2009-03-30T22:39:00.002+08:00

don't worry
it's not infectious and there's nothing wrong with my brain ( i think)

earlier today, i was reading through Alyssa's blog and saw that she wrote something on middle-child's syndrome.
so, it intrigued me (as i am a middle child) and found that the research results she found indeed implied to me...
kinda all of it...
so yea, i have a syndrome that i wasn't aware of till now,
the middle child syndrome.

Quote from the net:

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.

Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, therefore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project.

The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.

he's sorry that he's such a failure

2009-03-29T23:15:00.003+08:00

he'm sorry for being such a failure.
he suck at everything i try to achieve...
he tried to bring at least a wee bit of happiness to my parents yet i always fail...
he try to do what i could at home with the chores yet IT NEVER SEEMS TO BE GOOD ENOUGH...
and he have to listen to all the complains and heart-aching comments on the messiness of the house when here he was, helping to sort things out in the fridge while someone was there just sleeping and doesnt seem to bother...
whenever he slack or tries to enjoy life a little bit more than usual, he gets the blow of words and complaints.

every time she comes home, she does so little...
every time,the other he is either out playing or just hanging in his room without laying a finger...
he had to be the one helping out yet as he was helping, complaints start pouring on how messy things are...
he's really saddened by the fact that the one that did the most among the 3 had to listen and be condemned while he's still trying to help out despite all that...
in his deep hurt he carried on till he could find the time to go into his room and wet his pillow with tears when no one is around...
and all he could think of is how much of a failure, a disappointment he is and that no one cares cos he's just another speck in this world, so insignificant...
so he decides that he'll try his best to stay far away in his future...
and when he returns, he'll just come back to slave and go again, bearing all the hurt all over again...
he has no shoulder to lean on, no where he could show his tears and someone would just go with his flow without any "but you're also in the wrong."
deeply, as he tried to come out of his shell, he's pushed back in by a strong force called hurt.
he begins to hate himself just as he began to love himself.
he doesn't have the strength and courage to go through suicide and thus had to be strong enough to endure all hurt thrown at him...

he's now really sad and will sleep away his sadness and here i am, his alter ego trying to write down his emotions...

gosh! i'm stupid

2009-03-17T21:15:00.002+08:00

gosh!
i'm having the feeling again...
i kinda hate it...
though most of the times, i hide it...
its that really stupid feeling
the one that made me feel like i'm getting stupider...
its mainly cos i failed to get 10A's for my SPM which is really depressing...
and a B for Chemistry...
thats the worst thing that ever happened...

hearing from Mr.Zeelan that many of his students called him and said they had a A1 really bugs me that i failed to do so...

I'M SO STUPID!!!

Yesterday and Today!!!

2009-03-12T20:04:00.002+08:00

yesterday was lotsa fun cos da boss belanja us to a Staff Dinner.
WOOT!!!

so after work, i followed in Yoga's car to DU first to meet other staffs.
I was there with Sandy and Yuki.
Sandy didn't feel like being there so finally, we went down to a Starbucks downstairs.
So we ordered our starbucks...
hehe...
i finally found my favorite Frappucino...
JAVA CHIPS!!!
WOOT!!!
SUPER DANG DELICIOUS!!!

then, after some time, we headed to the place in Soho KL.
the place is not really a mall...
it's kinda like an outdoor mall...

the Perfection Staff Dinner was held in Tenji Japanese Buffet Restaurant

there, we had lotsa sushi and SASHIMI!!!
which are raw salmon and octopus...
AWESOME!!!
i even had oyster...hehe
rich people food...
hehe...
there, they also had Haagen Dazs...
wow!!!
the Sorbet was awesome...
so sour, just like the way i like it...
hehe...
the Shitake Mushroom was also so good...
like sprinkled caramel on top...
hehe...
and also coconut drink...
awesome...
i had 3 coconuts..
hehe...
i think this is the website...
they got promotion until 31st March
so ne quick cos its a great promotion...
Tenji Soho KL Solaris

here we are from the Rawang Branch

and the four frens

~~~~~~~~~~

then today is the day...
the D-DAY!!!
SPM Result Day
i think mine is ok...
but something pretty bad happened...
i got 7A, 3B, and 1 E...
1 freaking E for Bible Knowledge.
i did read my bible but the problem is
i had no guidance from any tutor
my answers might be right but my format might be wrong and caused me to lose so much

and then i rushed to Selayang Mall to meet up with my old friends...
hehe
the ones i can go crazy with...
here's to our happy family except for the girl in yellow wearing white tudung.

i took this photo so i'm not in it.

but i'm in this one but its not too nice.

WHAT THA....

2009-03-09T00:27:00.002+08:00

i'm very emo now...
listening to McFly - Too Close for Comfort is going along my feelings but the incident is not mine...
it happened to one of my very best friend...
you see, she and her ex-bf broke up last year...
he had no feelings anymore but she still harps a bit...
he sms/called her today...
at first, she's happy and overjoyed
but that tone turned upside down when he said he found someone new...
i was like WT-!
i sms-ed her as soon as i heard that from another friend
she replied...
but then i figured it'll be better to just call...
she said she is ok
but she sounded really really sad, devastated...
but she wished him and his new gf happiness...
wow...
such selflessness can only come from someone who truly loved the person before...

what's worse is that i continued to chat with the other friend
the friend told me that the ex never did really love her...
how could guys these days be like this...
sometimes, i'm even ashamed that guys can be so heartless
if you dont like someone, please do tell earlier than just playing with their feelings...
that Jerk is so getting a cold treatment when he sees me...

God is AWESOME!!!

2009-03-07T22:19:00.002+08:00

please be informed that this post is not to impose any religion to anyone...
if you're sensitive on religious issues, especially Christianity, please do not continue but if you do, you're really well appreciated...
this post also does not contain any material that condemns other religion, so be relieved.

today in Youth Cell, we watched an E-Speaker (ask Unc Poh Leong) calls it...
the E-Speaker was Louie Giglio and the title is "How Great is Our God"
i can't really tell the whole sermon again but there were some things that just BLEW MY MIND AWAY!

the first half was okay...
it kinda was about astronomy, how BIG are some things that God created and guess what...
He doesn't even need to move a finger...
He just need to speak and the thing happen...
WOW!!!
one thing that realy blew my mind was that in a galaxy called the Whirpool Galaxy,
the very nucleus of it is just too beautiful and the meaning of it is just too wonderful...
here's the picture of it taken by the Hubble Satelite

a cross, right in the middle of it...
WOW!!!!

the second part is just very touching...
but the part that struck me the most...
is that there is a molecule in our bodies called the Laminin...
it's function is as an adhesive molecule that binds everything together
and guess what...
its the shape of a Cross...
yup, a cross

which indirectly means that God is the one that sustained us...
that holds us together when everything seems to fall apart...
how WOW is that?!

it's just too AWESOME!!!
GOD IS AWESOME!!!

Another Song Tag...

2009-03-02T16:53:00.005+08:00

back by popular demand, the SONG TAG...
but this time, i did the tag...hehe
you know the rules, if not...
here they are:

1. Put your Media Player on shuffle...
2. For each question, hit the next button...
3. Answer the question with the title of your song no matter how weird it is...

What song will you play when you sleep?
Hey (Don't Bring me Down) - TVXQ

What will happen when it rains?
All These Live - Daughty (what happens to these lives???)

What happens when you did not sleep?
Your Grace is Enough - Chris Tomlin

Whats your ambition?
Jesus Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood (Jesus Decides)

What do you say to your newlywed?
The River - Chris Tomlin

When you fart you say...
Drip Drop - Vanessa Hudgens (what? liquified fart?!)

When someone kicks you, you say?
In this Moment - David Archuleta (in this moment, i'll kick you back...haha)

What's the number after 50?
All Bow Down - Chris Tomlin (yup, all bow down cos the number after 50 is coming)

When you were born, what happened?
Think of Me - David Archuleta (someone thinks of me when i'm born... cool)

What would you sing on your next birthday?
I'm Sorry - John Hoon (i'm sorry there is no party...)

What will be your wedding march song?
Breakdown - Daughtry (i guess she'll breakdown on the aisle... why?!)

What do your parents call you?
Next Plane Home - Daniel Powter (taking off now... booo booo boo wheee)

You hate it when...
Resolution - Nick Lachey (i guess i don't like to make resolutions)

You love it when...
This is my Now - Jordin Sparks (yay! i love it when it's my now!)

Your next BF/GF will sing this song to you to as a confession.
Let's Dance - Vanessa Hudgens (okie i guess)

Your best friend confesses that he/she like you A LOT, you say...
Canvas - Ken Hirai (i'll take out a canvas and???)

What do you say when your pet licks you?
What I want - Daughtry (lolz)

When you see the Jonas Brothers, what will you say?
Just Words - Emma Lahana (i'll just say words...lolz)

When your friends say hi, you...
Running - David Archuleta (i'll run?)

Your friends say you're weird, you say...
Afraid - Vanessa Hudgens (i guess i'll be afraid if they say that, or they'll be scared for saying i'm weird...muahahaha)

Tags:
DaphneYap
Diane Lee
Kimberly Koh
Carissa Morias
Alyssa Koh
Christen Koh
Jeremy Duke
Aaron Tay
Margaret Lau
Zhafa
Yuki Poon
Matt2001
Grace Purait

(天)(木)(火)(水)(土) - With these brush strokes, we report to the emperor!

2009-03-01T20:26:00.005+08:00

With these brush stroke, we report to the Emperor!
(henshin!)

thats the henshin (morph) call for this year's sentai (Japanese Power Rangers)

yea yea...
guess i'm still into these kinda stuff...
hehe
old habits die hard...
buts it's kinda fun, this Sentai...
i dunno...
suddenly got attracted to it...

other than that, what other stuff i've been up to lately?
i just passed my first part of my driving test...
the Law and Ethics test...
i passed with a 48/50
URESHII!!!

passing mark is 42/50...
so now, i'm waiting for my LDL (Learner's Driving License)
after that, i can go for practices...
10 hours total...
and then, the test, if i do well during the practices...